Split Pieces

Chapter 5: Never Goodbye

I threw a towel around me and carefully stepped out of the shower. My body was refreshed but my mind sure wasn't; life at that moment was a hazy blur of emotions that I wouldn't allow myself to convey. I wiped away the fog that had built up on the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot. Lack of sleep in the past month was getting to me and that insomnia wasn't dawning on an end. Today Maggie leaves.

Deciding I had prepared myself for the cold outside to surround me I stepped out of the bathroom now wearing a pair of stained gym shorts. After grabbing my hat I made my way downstairs and threw on the shirt Maggie had bought me last year for my birthday; it's always been one of my favorites. I then slipped on an old pair of running shoes and prepared to walk out into the cool summer morning breeze.

My body was practically shutting itself down and I didn't know how to cope with it. "Just be strong for her today and you can break tomorrow" I kept telling myself in the back of my mind. The door flew open and in walked my mother just as I had reached for the knob.

"Where are you going so early" she said to me as she pushed past with that tone in her voice she takes on when she pretends to care. "To Maggie's" I said, "she's leaving today and I wanted to..." SLAM. She had shut the kitchen door before I was even able to finish my sentence. Her nonchalant attitude would normally not effect me but today it hurt. It was a painful reminder that in an hour I would lose the person who really loved me.

With the exhale of a sigh, I turned around and stepped through the door letting the breeze that I had predicted hit me harder than expected. I took a hop down the stairs and out of the shade into the warm sunlight that lit the way to Maggie's now empty home. The green leaves and and clear sky all seemed to be against me today; being that the sight of everything around was a simple reminder of growing up here; with her.

I finally ended up at the edge of Maggie's driveway, the moving truck being fed the last of her home. Maggie aggressively pushed open the door and ran down to let me take her into my arms, all before even taking two steps onto the cement walkway from her doorstep. "Nathaniel, please never let go" she said to me with her voice muffled against my chest. "I wish I didn't have to Maggs" I mumbled back, "I could die right here and die happy."

She released me and looked up, using my shoulders to push her self up and make it possible to kiss me. Pulling away she whispered "I love you so much." The tears hidden just behind my eyes were begging louder than ever to flow but I wouldn't let them. "I love you too Maggie" I said back with a horrible crack in my voice. She started crying; not balling her eyes out but instead small drops that ran softly down her cheeks. She seemed paralyzed so I pushed the drops away from her face and kissed her again. "You can't cry" I desperately whimpered "I can't take it Maggie."

She stared at me in silence for a moment only to briefly take my hand. Rocky called her name from the pickup truck parked just in front of the movers. "We gotta head out if we are gonna make it anywhere by midnight" he rushingly said to her. "I guess this is goodbye" she whimpered quietly in my direction; her blue irises looking as though they were prepared to shatter and flood like an egg yolk. "Never goodbye" I demanded to her. We had always refused to say goodbye to one another.

"But..." She began to say to me. "No" I said cutting her off, "only see ya later." She looked down and back up before speaking again. "okay, I guess I will see you later Nathaniel" she allowed herself to say as she glanced directly into my face which I suddenly realized was melting. "You will" I spoke. "Okay" she spoke back. Life seemed to fade and break away, as if reality had been broken at the seams. A few moments later she was gone.

I was left standing on her old driveway with tears in my eyes and ajar lips that spoke lightly; "I'll see ya later, Maggie."