i remember when my mom used to run after me and help me stand up whenever i fall down . She checks on my wounds, dries my tears and tells me that everything's going to be okay . It puts a smile on my face every time it crosses my thoughts.
i lay down in bed and thought about almost everything. I'm leaving soon. I'll be on my own this time . I was thinking if I'd ever survive it now that I'll be pushing through without my mom. I got so pessimistic and thought about quitting this journey. But no, this is my ticket to a better life and I know I shouldn't let go of it. But suddenly, I felt weak. I left the night and still quiet with tears on my pillow.
i woke up the next morning and hugged my mom tight as I greeted her, "good morning!" she hugged me back and i gave her a kiss on the cheek . I then went on my way to school. That's out everyday routine. But every single day that passes gets me closer to my “departure”. Each day, I come and realize how important the people around me are, especially my MOM.
How much luckier can I get? I think my mom is the BEST. I think I’m spoiled. I guess I really am, but im not a BRAT. I have a mom that prepares my breakfast every day. I have a mom that wakes me up a couple of times for school. I have a mom that protects me from harm; even my dad is far away from us. I have a mom that skips work to take care of me whenever I’m sick. I have a mom that’s been there by my side for more than 13 years now, still caring and loving- not getting tires, not getting fed up.
Yeah, I know, I’m blesses enough. But what does my mom get in return? A mocking “Let me be”!whenever she scolds me for doing something wrong; a bang of the door whenever she asks me a favor and another sarcastic answer matched with rolling eyes whenever she says something I wouldn’t like. I’m aware that I’ve been doing that what I’ve been doing was all wrong. Undeniably and regrettably, I’ve been taking her for granted. And the worst part of it is that I know I shouldn’t be doing these, yet I still keep on doing it.
I stared at her blankly, thinking that weeks from now, a face that I see everyday would be just a face I’ll see thrice a year. An hour now becomes a day, a stone’s throw now becomes a plane ride and a stare now becomes a glance. Still staring, I hoped that she’s reading my thoughts – how I feel sorry for THOSE things. I stabbed myself with regrets about things I’ve done to the person closest to my heart, opportunities with my first and best mentor I should’ve grabbed before.
At this moment, time’s running out for me to make it up to her. I don’t know how she feels. Really. But I can sense her sadness and frustration whenever I do things in contrary to how she wants me to do them. It upsets me.
Ma, I know my faults. I regret every mistake I made. But I hope you understand, I know you do, that these errors made me a better person. Ma, with every breath you sigh in disappointment, it breaks my heart. I feel dispirited whenever I make you mad. I’m sorry. Despite these things, I hope you’re still proud of me- of my little achievements and of my antics that cheer you and papa up. I thank you and papa for being so patient, for being forgiving, for caring and for loving me exceedingly. God has blesses me indeed. I love you so much
I would still remember my “fall down” moment and I’d miss how you dry my tears as you say “EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY”. For now, I promise my mom that when that day her “fall down” moment comes, I’d be the one running after her, dry her tears and tell her that EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE OKAY. But I’ll do it with a kiss on the forehead, just to do it better than her. :)
