He's my Ex (18+)

He's my Ex

Shout out to bubblesandheels  for being my editor check out her books they are awesome.

👆That's Xavier 😍😍

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So what happens now I ask my arms around his neck gripping him for dear life tears running down my cheek my head looking down to my feet.

He looks up at me but I'm not looking at him.

With his finger under my chin he tilts my head to look at him.

I see the sorrow in his eyes he is just as lost as I am.
"I don't know" he replies and rest his head against my forehead both of us not looking at each other.

"Do you want me to leave?" I ask my voice barely a whisper.

He's silent unsure what to say.

"Okay" I nod my head
more tears coming out of my eyes I kiss him before I leave.

He looks into my eyes.

Love, Regret, Sorrow reflected in our eyes then I pull away.

"Okay!" I say to him a lot stronger then I was before.

I stand up straighter head held high.

"Goodbye."

I walk past him feeling myself dying on the inside tears starting to swell up in my eyes again.

opening the door to our bedroom.

Just as I'm about to walk out he grabs my elbow and pulls softly.

I look back at him a sad smile on my face.
"I'm still here!.
"I will always be here I will never leave u alone." He says his face so hurt and confused but his words so sincere and full of promise.

I smile and look at him "I know Boo" I say as I turn to walk out the door I stop just before I walk out looking down at my shoes.

"I will always love u, u know that right?"

"I know"
"Goodbye Lexi-boo" he says.

I don't even have to look to know he has a smile on his face, the nickname he had given me 6years ago when we met.

"God I hate that name" I say just loud enough for him to hear.

"Goodbye" I say as I walk out of his room not realising that in this moment I was walking away from the only love I've ever had.

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I'm Alexi well Lexi for short
That was Xavier My ex.

I was 16 when I met him he was 18 we were best friends literally talked about everything did everything with each other.
Then one day we were more then best friends and a few years later we got married and now 4years later here we are now he was the love of my life in fact he was my 1st love and why did we break up u may wonder honestly I still have no idea why we broke up I guess we kind of just grew apart and then eventually realised it wasn't working anymore.

although I think we will always love each other in some way or form but I guess we will move on as well

but this book isn't about our happy memories together no it's about what happened after we broke up.

So anyways going back to the story stay tuned.

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I call my best friend Crystal

She answer on the third ring

"Heeeeeyyyyy" she says over the phone.

"Hi babe" I say trying to sound normal and hoping to God I pulled it off but she knows me so well.

"What happened? Are u okay il be there in 5.

"Me and Xavier just broke up" I say my voice cracking at the end.

"Ohhhh babe on my way over now il bring a couple of bottles of wine." She says.

"Love you see u soon don't do anything stupid she says before She hangs up on me."

And that's why I love her.

5mins later she pulls up outside my hotel room I rented for the night with wine and a bag of clothes.

"I hope your prepared we're going out" she looks at me with a sad understanding smile.

"Come here!" she says. Putting her arm over my shoulder and pulling me to her side.

once we get into my room she hugs me.

"your gonna be okay babe I promise I will be with you all the way we will help each other out."

U see a few months before she broke up with her boyfriend of 7years so she's still tryna deal with that as well I swear me and her go through the same shit at the same times it's crazy that's why I believe me and her are meant for each other cause we always go through stuff together and we always pick each other up.

After a couple hrs of drinking, talking, crying and laughing in our drunk state we decided we are definitely gonna hit the town and fuck shit up.

pretty much every weekend after we were out at the clubs having fun drinking, hooking up with other guys and just forgetting everything that hurt.

literally all we did was Wake up go to work wait for the weekend go out meet people and do it all over again.

It was the only thing that kept us going at that time I guess u could say we were still dealing with our issues trying to fill a void that was no longer there.

During this time we got a lot of hate but we didn't care we were just doing the best we could it was such a big transition for us I guess u could say we were dating these guys throughout our teen years and then into adulthood we didn't know anything else because honestly they were our life.

I will admit though that  a month after mine and Xaviers split I started sleeping with him again.

It was stupid but at the time I didn't know what to do I was soooooo madly Inlove with him still.

I thought that if I slept with him I could get him back but every morning when I woke up I could feel that he didn't love me anymore but I still went back.

not because he wanted me to but because I didn't know how else to have him I just wanted a little bit of him and if that meant sleeping with him and feeling like a total slut the next morning it was worth it I just wanted to lay next to him cuddle him have his arms around me while I slept.

Me and Crystal still partied don't get me wrong every weekend was the same.

Clubbing, drinking, hooking up with guys.

we did that for a few months till we realised this was getting us nowhere at all.

then we decided to buck up our ways and start getting serious and well I guess we have kind of.