Seeing Lens

    I sit in my suit with my head in my hands, elbows resting on my knees. On the hallway floor in the funeral home I break down. I pull back my hands to see they are trembling and place them on the cool tiled floor to sooth them. I look p at the white ceiling, the rectangle lights that trap insects. My breathing is strangled by the lump in my throat and my vision blurs in and out as my eyes leak tears out onto me cheeks. My nose sniffles obviously and I lean my head against the cream colored wall. So this is what is feels like to lose your closest friend, I question the world. It's funny how I feel as though I've died as well. I'm not hungry, I'm not tired, I'm extremely pale and quiet and I feel as though my existence is simply that of a ghost's.

    I close my eyes hoping to get away but all it does is begin the harsh tapes of memories. I don't want to look back, or move on. I suppose I don't know what I want. I fumble in my pocket and pull out the last gift she gave me. A pair of glasses... well the frames to be precise. They were a wire type, old and gold. They were round, perfect circles resembling Harry Potter's glasses. She told me that in soon upcoming time these frames would show me something amazing. So far when I put them on they show me the world I live in as it is.

     These frustrate me! Why would Grandmother give me these? What am I missing? I know Grandmother, she was my best friend, the only other human who understood me! She wouldn't give these to me and tell me they were important if they weren't. I asked mother what she thought, asked her why and what I was missing. She simply told me, "Perhaps, Joshua, what you are looking for is yet to be discovered. Maybe you should wait, be patient, I'm sure what you are asking will soon be revealed."

    I had sighed, perhaps she was right. I put the frames back in my pocket. Grandmother said there was a purpose and reason for everything. When my leg was found to be unfunctional she had said, "I know it seems bad now, but one day something wonderful will come from that leg." She'd told me gently patting my braced knee. She said everything does happen for a reason, but reasons aren't always revealed in the obvious manner we'd like. Grandmother's word always seemed to hold true so I waited for the good of my leg. The accident had happened when I was 13, I had saved a friend from a car. The doctors said I was lucky to even have my leg... Back then I felt that I'd rather be dead than have a braced leg. I was bullied at a constant rate for it. Even my best friend, the one whom I had saved, turned on me. Grandmother was the only one who cold console me back then.

    Now I am 16, and Grandmother is gone. She was old. She was very old in fact. She told me the day of her  passing that she was ready. I was so confused, I questioned her. Was she sick, was she okay, but she simply stated no. She said she was perfectly fine, she said she had lived a full and long life. She said everything dies in it's own time, "But Joshua, I am not everything." She told me in her old warm yet nasaly voice, "I am not dying my boy, I am exiting, I'm making my departure from this life to the next. I've taught you and helped you grow. I've prepared you for your own destiny but I'm sad to say I'm just not part of it." At this point I was freaking out at her bedside. "Shh, boy, I haven't left yet!" She chuckled.

    She pulled the framed from under her pillow, "These are for you." She stated. I looked at her questioningly, "In soon upcoming times, Joshua, these frames will reveal to you something amazing. They will unlock your destiny. Do not break or lose them." she warned.

    I took them and held her hand she smiles and took the frames placing them on my face and gently moving my long black hair aside. "Grandmother, I'm not yet ready for you to... depart." I begged, "Please..."

    "This is not your choice Joshua, it is mine. You are ready and have been since you were young." She patted my braced knee, "You are brave, strong, smart, and you are selfless. Keep these traits they are important to yor destiny." she says.

    "But grandmother, what is my destiny?" I ask.

    "That I can not say. Only time will reveal this to you." She says patting my hand. She sighs, "It is time." she tells me. "Remember your past and all you have learned Joshua, I love you boy."

    "I love you too, Grandmother." I say softly as I stare into her blue eyes identical to mine. I watch as she smiles takes one last breath and closes her eyes.

    I put the frames back into my pocket. "Joshua my mother calls from the funeral home doorway.

    I stand on shaky legs, "Yes mother?" I ask.

    "It's time for the burial." She says as she comes to me and puts an arm around my shoulder. She guides me out to the cemetery where I watch my best friend descend into the ground protected by a heavy box. I must find the meaning of these frames if not for me, for Grandmother.