Learning to be Beautiful

“Pardon me?” The platinum haired woman sitting at the desk looked up at me briefly, scanned my exterior over the frames of her scarlet glasses, then looked back down with a bored expression on her face.

“If you’re looking for a job, you’re not exactly fit for it, sweetie,” her slightly southern-accented voice dripped with fake sympathy and I resisted the urge to throw one of my sneakers at her. I didn’t need her sympathy; I’d lived looking like this for nineteen years. I didn’t need sympathy when I was little, and I sure as heck didn’t need it now.

“I’m here to see Ms. Palmin,” I managed, though I was still a bit stung by her remark about my looks.

“And what business do you have here for the owner of this modeling agency?” Blondie asked, still not looking up from whatever it was she was doing.

“I’m her daughter.”

Blondie looked up with that same bored look plastered across her features, “Honey, I think you need to leave.” She looked me up and down again, pursing her pert lips, “A girl like you shouldn’t be making such outrageous claims.”

A girl like you… Yeah, that’s a nice way of putting it.

Frustrated, I started digging around in my purse for my wallet so that I could show her my ID. I couldn’t find it anywhere. Sometimes, I swore that someone had cast an undetectable extension charm on my purse; I couldn’t find a thing in there.

"Aislyn, is that you I hear?" My mom stepped into the lobby, looking perfect as always. Her shining pale gold hair perfectly curled, blue eyes sparkling with life and makeup totally flawless. She took one look at me and a smile brightened her face, "Darling! I thought I heard you!" She clacked over to me as fast as she could in her four-inch heels and pulled me into her arms for a hug. "Gladys, why wouldn't you let Aislyn in?"

The receptionist seemed to be struck dumb. "I-I do apologize, Ms. Palmin, I didn't realize--"

Mother laughed her infectious laugh, the sound bouncing off of the marble walls that enclosed us, "Gladys, dear, there's no harm done!" She smiled sweetly and turned back to me to pat my cheek fondly. "Come, sweetheart, you've grown so much, and there must be so many things you need to tell me!"

I followed her silently to the golden elevator and stepped inside, making sure to keep my eyes on my toes so that I wouldn't have to face my reflection in the polished metal.

"Aislyn, my dear, sweet Aislyn..." My mother murmured, looking at me fondly. “It’s been much too long, dear. Next school year, you are coming home for the holidays, long flights be darned.” I imagined that she must have been a bit lonely over the holidays, despite her wit and charm. She was always surrounded by friends, but sometimes friends don’t amount to family at the holidays. I was her only child, her only family.

I had been born when she was 17, making her a disgrace to her family. Once they were sure that she could support me on her own, they turned her away; forcing her to fend for herself and a year old baby at the young age of 18. My father wanted nothing to do with me or her.