I always knew that I was different from all the other girls. They all liked to play with dolls and I would rather go off with my cousin and build forts in the woods. I always thought that girls weren't as fun as guys. No offense to any girls out there. I don't know I just always had a feeling that being a girl was never who I was meant to be.
When I was 7 I started to become suicidal. Yeah you heard me right. 7. I was in and out of mental hospitals. I had one person who cared. My cousin. He went by Morgan at the time but I'll get back to that later. It all started to get better when six grade came around. I meet this guy named Tristen and he was the only one who really got me at the time. I told him everything. I started to like him. Then he got a boyfriend so I gave up. I started to like this boy. His name was Jackson. The word got around and eventually he found out. He said he didn't like me at first but then I asked him out and he said yes. At the time I cut myself and he was really unhappy with it. I promised to stop. Then one day he said that my cutting myself was too much for him and he broke up with me. I wrote a suicide note shortly after that. I wanna kill myself. I don't see a point in living. The one person I'm still living for is Tristen. I really like him. He likes someone else. He's the only one who really knows all my secrets. Other than my cousin. He used to be a she. He now goes by Riker and he is very supportive and he really fucking cares about me. I'm not a girl. I'm a guy. My name is Ashton. Jackson I'm glad we broke up now because I knew you never supported me being a guy. So fuck you for that. Lol guess I'm not over you. Hell I still love you so fucking much. This is why I want to die. You don't love me. No one really does. They all lie.
