The girl in the red flannel

Paige

I wake up, and blindly stand up to go turn off the alarm clock. Fuck. I have school today. I sigh and go sit on the edge of my bed, reaching for the straightener on my bedside table. I grab my hairbrush, straightener, and clothes and walk out into the hallway toward the bathroom. I turn on the lights, and wait for the straightener to heat up. I start to change clothes, and take off my stitch sweater when I remember. Without the long sleeves of my sweater, the red lines crossing each other on my wrist are much more visible. I sigh, remembering why they got there in the first place as I put on my Pierce The Veil shirt. So stupid Paige, this is why you shouldn't cut on your wrists, it's too obvious. I sigh inwardly and finish getting dressed. I matched my PTV shirt with a black skater skirt and my favorite red flannel. Then I begin the process of taming my short puffy hair. Thankfully, it's only puffy when it's curly, which means the j can fix it most days by flattening the curls. I finish with that, and go back into my room for my sketchbook, penny board, and phone.
I make my way downstairs for breakfast, making a quick bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. After eating, I grab my Stitch backpack and wait for the bus to come take me to hell. My dad doesn't get home until 8:30, which means I hardly ever see him in the mornings. My dad works as a police officer, but he takes the night shift.
My dad is one of the best people in my life. He's a little intimidating to other people, seeing as he was in the special forces of the army for 13 years, but he and I get along really well. He was great about me coming out as lesbian, and he tried his hardest to be there for me. Which is why I haven't told him about my issues. I know than if I told him he'd tear himself apart for not being there.
What at my issues exactly? Well that's a bit more complicated. In elementary school, I was severely bullied, and I only had one person to help me. Her name is Teresa. She has stuck around through all of this. Anyway, because of the bullying, I found myself slipping into a deep dark state of mind. I was going into middle school next year, and I was depressed. On top of that, I devolved severe social anxiety. No matter what anyone is saying, I will always think they are making fun of me. Even my best friends have been convicted guilty by my anxiety. This year, I lost a friend to suicide. Her name was Maddie. I like to think she happier now. But some days I just break down and cry. I miss her so much. She was the kind of person that put everyone else first. She as one of the best people I had ever known, and now she's dead. It's cruel really, how fast someone can disappear from your life.
Other than that, I don't sleep much. I have pretty bad insomnia, but I don't really mind much. I've always felt more at peace in the night. The moon often looks brighter than the sun, and I crawl out onto the roof of my house and watch the stars while music plays softly in the background.
I break out of my thoughts as the bus shows up. I get onto the transportation system of hell, put in my earbuds and start blasting Bring Me The Horizon, Sleeping With Sirens, and all the other bands I'm obsessed with.

.
End of chapter one
.
Comment, vote, you know the deal
.
Maddie was a real person, everything I wrote about her is true, death date 02.20.16
.
Stay safe, somebody loves you I promise
.
Recommended song: Stay Away From My Friends-Pierce The Veil
.
the-nocturnal-girl