This Life is a Beautiful War

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Jake

So the truth is Gabby’s melt down scared me. 

I didn’t realize until just then that when it happened, she would do anything to find something to cut herself with. When I saw her razor in her hand…I thought I was going to start freaking out on her.  But seeing that look in her eyes…that look of total defeat…It was horrible. 

When I woke up the next morning, Gabby was curled up beside me.  Her head was under my chin, arms around my waist, and our legs were tangled together.  I pulled back a little bit just so I could look at her for a while. 

She was finally waking up after I was up for an hour.  Wrapping her arms more tightly around me, she snuggled back into my chest.  I knew she was awake, though.  She always did that when she was.

“Morning,” she said, and then leaned back so that her head was beside mine on the pillow. 

“Morning,” I said, reaching up to brush a strand of her hair away from her face. 

She was watching me stare at her.  “What are you looking at?”

“Just you,” I said, keeping my hand on her face. 

She sighed and closed her eyes. 

I continued to stare at her as she laid there.  She didn’t open her eyes again for a few minutes.  But when she did, tears were welling up in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.  “I…I don’t know what happened with me yesterday.  I guess I just broke down.  I couldn’t take it...”

“Gabby,” I said, shaky my head as best I could since my head was still on the pillow.  “How many times do I have to tell you that you’re not alone in this anymore?  I’m going to be right here for you no matter what.”

“I know.  I just…”  She sighed.  “I was the only one who knew what was going on for so long.  I’m not used to having someone there for me.  For this situation, I mean.”

“Well, you’ve got me.”

“I know,” she said, sighing again. 

We laid there for a little while longer.  Her eyes were on me but I could tell that she was thinking about other things.  They had that far away look in them. 

“Can we do something normal today?” she asked suddenly, focusing back on me.

“Sure,” I said.  “Like what?’

“I don’t know.  Go walk around the city, catch a movie.  It doesn’t matter to me,” she said. 

I smiled slightly.  “Why don’t we do both?” I asked.  “Dylan’s wanted to see that new action movie.  You know, the one that has all the explosions in it.  We could do something together, just the two of us, and then we can call and meet up with him at the theater later.  Maybe get something to eat afterward.”

Gabby rolled her eyes, smiling slightly.  “Remind me why we keep him around again,” she said.

I smiled and leaned in to kiss her.  “He’s just sort of stuck with us now,” I said.

She laughed and pulled me toward her so that I was on top of her.  I tried to lean up so that I wasn’t squashing her but she wouldn’t let me. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, looking down at her. 

“Nothing,” she said, staring up at me.  “I just like it when you’re this close to me.  You make me feel safe.”

“Even when I’m practically putting all of my weight on you?” I asked, chuckling. 

“Yeah,” she said.  “Now roll.”

I raised an eyebrow.  “Roll?”

“Roll off me,” she explained. 

“You’re the one who pulled me on top of you!” I said when I was rolling off her and back onto my back. 

Before she said anything, she moved so that she was straddling my waist, looking down at me.  She was wearing her usual tank top and short short like she always did when we went to bed.  But now, sitting on top of me like this, she looked even more beautiful than I’d even seen her. 

Reaching behind her, she pulled the covers up around her shoulders and moved so she was lying on top of me with her head on my bare chest.  She pulled the covers up around us as she lay with her ear over my heart. 

“I love that sound,” she said quietly. 

I reached up and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and kiss the top of her head. 

“I like it when it’s just us,” she said quietly.

“Me, too,” I said. 

She laid there for a few more minutes before lifting her head and resting her chin on my chest. 

“So do you want to go out in a little while or later on in the day?” she asked. 

“Well, since we both like it when it’s just us together, I say we go out early,” I said.  “How about that?”

She smiled.  “Sounds good,” she said.  “Again, I need a normal day.”

Gabby pushed against my chest to sit up and get off of me.  She smiled as she got off my bed and started for the door.  “I’m going to go take a shower,” she said.

Right as she walked out of my room, I jumped up and ran so that I could catch her before she went into her room.

“Gabby!” I said just as she was about to walk through her door. 

She looked back at me.  “Yeah?”

I walked toward her, took her face in my hands, and kissed her gently.  “Just remember I love you no matter what,” I said. 

“I know,” she sighed, smiling up at me.  “I love you, too.”

 :)

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