and he will be lonely - malec short story

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everything had happened so quickly‒— like time had sped up so no one could even comprehend what occurred. to magnus, though, it felt as if everything stopped completely. as if god wanted to punish him for a crime he did not commit, and he swore he could feel his heart break into a million pieces in those few malicious seconds.

alec knew that going to valentine's hideout was a stupid idea‒— he even said it to the group. facing his army head on without having a backup plan was by far the stupidest thing they've ever done. and even though magnus wouldn't admit it, alec was right and.. and now he was dead because clary was so god damn desperate to save jace that she didn't think before she acted.

alec was right about a lot of things, surprisingly. for one thing, he was right about emotions. all they do is keep you from getting the job done. so, when clary had almost gotten herself killed while trying to find jace, alec saved her life and actually got himself killed. he always had a strange feeling of protection over her, as a big brother. but, of course, emotions are pointless and he was stupid for acting so quickly.

magnus saw the whole thing, as well. from when alec shot the arrow to the shadow hunter that was going to kill the ginger girl to when another one of valentine's puppets pierced his saraph blade through his back and a violent tear across alec's cheek was formed in attempt to crack his neck. luckily, he didn't succeed. magnus' whole being was violently thrown into a black mass of both unbearable shock and heartbreak. he swore he lost his breath for a moment as well. his body went cold and he couldn't find the will to move, and part of him wanted to stay that way so he wouldn't have to face the truth.

but magnus knew that wasn't possible, so he quickly tried to recollect himself and ran as fast as he could to alec. fortunately, izzy killed the murderous shadow hunter before he got to magnus next, but that was at the least of his worries. he practically fell on top of alec, too much of the aforementioned shock in his body to cry just yet. although he wanted to. god, he wanted to. he was barely keeping it together, and seeing alec's pale face with the nasty scratch across his face nearly sent him over the edge.

alec knew it was magnus, almost immediately. he could recognize that body warmth anywhere. alec was grateful for the warmth at the moment, too, as the cold shudder that quickly spread across his body wasn't a nice feeling. a faint smile spread across alec's lips as he felt magnus immediately beside him, attempting to raise his arm to caress his face one last time.

magnus cradled him in his arms, gently rocking him back and forth as he, too, caressed alec's face. alec seemed to be too weak, though, because it took too much strength to just lift his arm.

"alexander," magnus warned gently, the shock finally subsiding and the heartbreak settling in. alec didn't dare speak, the unsettling copper taste in his mouth was enough to make him puke. magnus' eyes seemed to be glued to alec's face, quickly yet carefully observing every detail of his face as if it would be the last time he could ever see him.

magnus quickly snapped out of his trance and carefully placed alec on the ground, the commotion around them seemingly blurring out and all of magnus' focus was directed towards alec. he lifted his hands over top of alec's body, trying to use every force of magic in his being to heal him. "it's t-too late," alec manages to find the will to speak, but magnus ignores him because that simply cannot be true. it can't be.

after a few more tries of healing alec, magnus, against his good judgement, stops trying. so instead, he tries to take away alec's pain. he places his hands in place, but nothing happens. at first, magnus was confused. why wasn't this working? it was the least he could do.

"i can't take your pain, alec," magnus manages to say, a tear making its escape down his face. he picks him up again gently, placing him in his lap. not a second later, alec clears his throat weakly and finds the strength to talk.

"that's because it doesn't hurt, magnus," he chuckles, his green eyes seemingly almost lifeless.

magnus shakes his head, "no," he begs, "no, you can't leave, please, alexander, don't‒—"

"tell me a story, magnus?" alec requests, his voice turning into a mere whisper. magnus knew alec wouldn't make it, and they both knew this was just a distraction.

magnus couldn't help but choke out a sob, seeing the love of his life like this was not ideal. magnus let out a small sigh before biting his lip to prevent himself from crying anymore. his eyes were locked on alec's face, no plan of removing them from that area for a while. magnus began telling alec a story, the only one magnus could come up with that moment.

occasionally, magnus would wipe away a bead of sweat from alec's pale forehead and gently move his dark hair from his almost closed green eyes. magnus couldn't help but notice his lips were a different color as well. they weren't their normal, two perfect petals of pink that magnus' lips would lock with so effortlessly. they were a much paler color, not at all as luscious as they once were. magnus' fingers delicately traced alec's face, the large gash on his cheek not stopping him from doing so.

talking certainly prevented magnus from crying, although he couldn't say the same for the others. izzy, simon, and clary were all standing a mere ten feet away from the two, silently sobbing and listening to magnus' story. they couldn't help but realize the story was their story. magnus and alec's.

magnus would always be in awe at alec's features. even near death, alec was just as beautiful as he was when they first met. maybe magnus was too busy scanning alec's face carefully, or too busy telling the story to realize that alec had, at some point, died in his arms.

a faint chuckle left magnus' lips, "they both knew it was a risk, but they couldn't deny what‒—"

magnus had stopped speaking when he saw that the very small lowering and rising of alec's chest had come to a stop. a small gasp left magnus' mouth, the unbearable heartbreak making its way back in. without realizing, magnus' body had started to tremble. his hands were shaking as he swiped alec's hair to the side one last time, as he placed his hand on the side of his face to touch the softness one last time, as he then placed it on alec's still chest, as if checking for any sign of life. but there was no point. alec was gone.

magnus didn't move at first. he didn't cry at first either. all he could do was be still and stare. because if he dared to move, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from breaking down. he didn't look up at the others, as if he was afraid that if he took his eyes away from alec, he would look entirely different than he already did.

the sweat had subsided and his body was almost completely cold. his green eyes were now closed, and the gash on his cheek was seemingly the only sign of color on his face.

after what seemed like a lifetime, magnus couldn't help but let out a sob. it was the only sound that echoed throughout the room, but he didn't care, because the love of his life was gone.

magnus would never forget those beautiful green eyes, but he would also never see them again. he would never be able to kiss those perfect two petals of pink, and he would never be able to hold alec's hand when he was nervous.

and he would be lonely again.

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