Idjits (Supernatural FanFic)

Part 4 - The Luck of The Hunters

•Sam•
Next day, and still women.

We were all loitering in the usual places at Bobby's, Bobby at his desk, Dean on the couch, me in a chair, Cas standing nearby.

"Well we smoked him, the fires should be done," Dean said.

I nodded. "But what about us being female? Do you think we'll be stuck like this forever?"

Dean shrugged.

The phone ran in the other room, and Bobby stood. He left and answered it in the kitchen, he talked while we did.

Cas stayed quiet, and Dean suggested that we go out and do something.

"Does that something include a bar?" I knew my brother(sister?) pretty well.

He smiled goofily.

...

Cas decided to come along with us to the restaurant/bar. We sat at a round table together and had a pretty normal night. Cas, with no surprise, didn't order anything. Dean got his usual cheeseburger and I got a salad.

"How do you eat that rabbit food," He grimaced at my meal choice.

I argued, "It's healthy. You should try it."

"I'm a warrior, Sammy. Warriors don't eat pet food."

"You ate cat food like a week ago," I said.

Cas asked, "Why would you—"

"I didn't read the label!" He protested.

I chuckled. "Yeah. Right."

•Dean•
We continued our meal quietly for a little while, when this random man pulled out the fourth chair at our table and sat down.

Samantha had left for the restroom, and it was just me and trench coat to my right.

I looked at Cas, then the man, then Cas again. Looking back at the stranger, I said, "Can I help you?"

The guy who decided to sit with us was in our height range. He had on a t-shirt and jeans with dirty sneakers. His hair was blond, short, and fuzzy.

Completely disregarding my question, the man who knew no boundaries hit on Cas, in a very pathetic way. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Cas looked at him with a very confused expression. "Of coarse if did, how do you know about that?"

"So I am lookin' at an angel," He smirked in an arrogant way.

I chimed in, "It'll hurt when I throw you in hell."

"Why would you do that?" Cas looked at me now, still confused.

"Cas—" I tried.

"What a great name. So Cassie—"

"I'm gonna be sick... Why are you here?"

"To talk to angel face." He nodded his head towards Cas.

I rolled his eyes. "I've had a long week and I think it'd be best if you leave."

The guy got cocky. "And what if I don't?"

I smiled. "Then I'll make you."

"Oh I'm so scared of a girl."

I put my finger up, "I don't take offense to that for reasons you'll never understand, but I will so kick your ass."

He stood up. "Yeah right."

•Sam•
I came out of the restroom to see a stranger at our table and Dean standing up.

The stranger guy was like four inches taller than him(her?). "Leave. Before I make you," Dean threatened.

The guy pushed Dean by the shoulders, and he stumbled back down into his chair, almost missing and landing on the floor.

Dean stood up and grabbed the guy by his wrist and spun him around, then kicked the backs of his knees and he fell on his face. Dean let go and the guy stood slowly. Dean punched him in the jaw. He fell back to the floor.

I walked over quickly.

By now, they had attracted stares from the few occupied tables in the small dinner.

"I just went all Jackie Chan on his ass!" Dean said.

The guy got up and left the place quickly.

Cas was utterly lost, "I don't understand that reference. And Dean why did you do that? What's going on?"

Dean sat back down and flipped his hair over his shoulder. "That guy was hitting on you, Cas."

"He didn't hit me."

I sighed. Sometimes talking to Cas could be a real struggle.

Dean sighed and rubbed his forehead with frustration. "Forget it."

Before I could ask what had happened, a different waitress, maybe a manager, came to our table, presumably because Dean caused a scene.

"We'll be leaving now," I said and grabbed my jacket from the back of my chair, standing. Dean started to stand to, his burger still in his hand because knowing Dean, he wasn't planning on leaving it. Cas also followed our lead and stood.

"So soon?" She said and her eyes turned solid black. Demon.

Cas took the salt shaker, unscrewed it, and dumped it over her head. She hissed and we started for the door. We made it out, and the waitress followed us. I grabbed her arms and Dean stabbed her in the chest with Ruby's knife.

Dean huffed. "We just can't catch a break, can we?"

...

After the Diner-Demon fiasco, we put the body in our trunk to burn later and headed to a bar.

We sat together at the bar itself and a man came over to us and asked what we wanted.

"I don't drink," Cas said.

"Two beers for us—"

Dean cut me off, "One beer for him, and, uh, can I get a vodka?"

The man nodded.

I looked at my brother(sister?). "Really, Dean? You? A vodka?"

"You only live once, Sammy."

"Apparently not you though," Cas added.

"He's kinda right, you know." I said with a shrug. "You've been to Heaven, Hell, Purgatory. You're like a supernatural tourist."

The man came back with our drinks.

I nodded. "Thanks."

Dean took a swig and put his glass back down. His face scrunched and he coughed a bit. "Whew, that's strong."

I asked, "Are you even enjoying that?"

"It's not bad."

"Really?"

Dean smiled. "These hips don't lie, Sammy." He took another gulp of his drink.

I retorted, "You're enjoying this whole woman-thing to much."