Wanting The Impossible

Ch.3: Lost in Life.

Amy's POV
I was in the library crying to myself. I had my head layed on top of my crossed arms on the table. Someone tapped on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Shane.
Shane: Amy what's wrong.
Amy: Everything! Thanks Shane. When you got into Karma's head she figured out that I have been in love with her since Kindergarten. She is freaked out. She told me to tell her that I don't love her then she said that she hates me and that she never wants to see me ever again.
Shane: Woah that's harsh. He hugged me.
Shane: Are you going to be okay because we got class in a bit.
Amy: She's in that class and I don't think I can face her.
Shane: Amy come on I'll sit next to you in the back. He grabbed my bag and put it over his shoulder. I stood up and wiped my tears away. Shane grabbed my hand and we walked to class. We sat down and I stared down at my hands. Shane put his hand on my shoulder.
Shane: Calm down. Karma walked in with Liam. I held the tears back. She smirked at me and Karma kissed him and I knew she was doing it to get me jealous. She really did hate me now. After class I walked up to Karma and Liam.
Amy: Look I know you hate me and all, but that doesn't mean you have to go ahead and fucken torture me with him. I know you love watching me hurt when you kiss him. I know you don't love me and you don't have to fucken rub it in my face Karma. I said with tears rolling down my cheeks and with my voice cracking. She looked stunned. I could tell she felt bad. To be honest I love her, but she makes it hard for me.
Karma: Amy. I walked away. I looked back and gave her a sad look. We had this look that we would give each other when something was seriously wrong and when our hearts were broken. She started crying when I gave her the look. I went to go sit down at a lunch table with Shane still crying. He patted my back.
Shane: Are you okay?
Amy: No Shane stop asking that. Obviously I am not.
Shane: Okay oh uhh Karma at 3 o clock. I look up to see Karma and Liam walking over to us. I feel butterflies in my stomach. Uhh curse my love for her! I'm still upset though. She's with Liam. She stood in front of me. She just stared at me with her crying eyes. I did the same.
Amy: Look if you came here to kiss in front of me then I am just going to leave. I stood up, but she grabbed my hand. Again with the butterflies in my stomach. Gosh I was pissed at myself.
Karma: Amy wait. Please let me explain.
Amy: Explain what. That you hate me. I said with a tear rolling down my cheek.
Karma: No Amy I don't hate you. I'm sorry I don't feel the same. I'm also sorry that I blew up at you when you told me about your feelings.
Amy: No I'm sorry. I should have just not told you and I should have moved on.
Karma: Don't apologize. I acted like a jerk. How about we have a girl's weekend?
Amy: Fine. My place or yours?
Karma: Mine.
Amy: Okay.
Karma: I have to go, but see you tonight. She kissed me on the cheek. Then left. I blushed and the butterflies came back. Oh my god I have to move on, but part of me doesn't want to. I forgot that Shane was sitting next to me. He grinned at me.
Shane: Ooh she kissed you on the cheek.
Amy: Shutup! I punched him lightly on the arm.
Shane: So girl's weekend isn't gonna be awkward?
Amy: Why would it be awkward?
Shane: You poured your heart out to her and she chopped it up like a spicy tuna roll. I rolled my eyes.
Amy: Maybe it will be awkward, but I'll try to put my feelings aside and act like I'm her best friend. Even though it's not easy at all. I have to go to class bye.
Shane: Bye. I stood up and walked away to my last class.
~Time Skip~
I was at the store buying snacks and stuff for girls weekend. I finally finished getting everything so I went home. I put the things in my room and layed on the bed. I took my phone out of my pocket and called Karma. It rang and rang till she finally picked up.
Karma: Hey Aims are you coming over or not?
Amy: Yeah I'm just getting my stuff. I got a bunch of snacks and stuff for the weekend. I said while standing up and getting my bag which had the things I needed.
Karma: Okay I have some snacks too.
Amy: Okay then I'll see you in 5.
Karma: K bye.
Amy: Bye. I hanged up and grabbed the stuff and headed to Karma's house. 5 minutes later I was at Karma's door knocking. She opened and hugged me. She finally pulled back and let me come in. We went upstairs and I layed on her bed. She sat next to me and we both sat in silence. She finally broke the silence.
Karma: So...What do you wanna do first?
Amy: Uhh well um let's watch Netflix and eat snacks.
Karma: Oooh yeah! She grabbed the bag and sat down by her pillows. I followed. She grabbed the remote and flipped through the movies on Netflix. She stopped at Twilight and grinned at me.
Amy: Fine. Go ahead and put it. She squealed and clicked play. We sat up on the pillows. We had a bowl full of popcorn between us. I put my hand in to grab one, but at the wrong time. Karma had put her hand in at the same time. Our hands touched and her eye's widened. She jumped off the bed. I looked at her hurt. Holding the tears back. She is freaked out by me.
Karma: I..I'm gonna go to the bathroom. She ran into the bathroom and shut the door. I pulled my knees against my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I put my head down and cried. I hate myself. I'm driving away the one person who I really care about.
Karma: Amy. I looked up.
Amy: I'm so sorry. I stood up and ran away. I heard Karma yell after me.
Karma: Amy come back I'm sorry! I kept running. My eyes were filled with tears. I looked around and I was completely lost. I left my phone back at Karma's. Dammit. What do I do now? I'm lost and I have nothing. I sat on a bench and just cried. My best friend is freaked out by me and I'm lost. Lost in life.