Newbie, Digital Dating Diaries

Prologue & Chapter 1 (subject to change and unedited)

Prologue

There's times in your life when you think, "I would never do that," or, "this could never happen to me. Right? Right. Everyone has their own problems. Well, this was one of those times and I was going to kill the bitches who put me in this fricked up, completely avoidable situation. The same bitches who were supposed to be my best friends. Well that wouldn't be the case for much longer. I was cutting them off from my awesomeness. Completely cutting them off, never speaking to them again. They would feel an empty void once I was gone. Who cares if one of them just happens to be my cousin? Who cares if the other one is pretty much my soul sister?

They had suggested this. I argued until I was blue in the face but after a few too many margaritas the idea seemed brilliant so brilliant in fact that I set the plan into motion that very night, probably not the best idea to do something like that when you're more than slightly inebriated.

Before I jump right into the situation that should probably never be spoken of again after tonight but I know I will never live down, let me tell you how I got there.

We all have that one friend, right? The one who is perfect. Perfect clothes, hair, complexion, rich parents, gets handed everything in life, goes to college, gets the perfect job and is now getting married to the perfect guy. Perfect, perfect, perfect. And no matter how much her perfectness bothers me, I still love her. But I know there will be judgy eyes in exactly two months when I attend Anna-Beth Richards wedding to the man of her dreams. Even her name is perfect.

Even though all of her perfect-ness can annoy the ever living hell out of me, I love Anna-Beth. We've been friends for years and even though we haven't been as close over the past few years because we both had our own lives going on, I was still thrilled when she asked if I wanted to be a bridesmaid. But after the high and excitement started to dwindle away, I started to get a bit depressed.

See, I'm pretty much the last person out of my group of friends who hasn't been coupled off. I feel like I'm destined to be single. Now don't get me wrong, being single isn't a completely bad thing. I have my own space, I don't have to worry about sharing it with anyone. I can binge on tv without being interrupted aka watching twenty episodes in a row with minimal potty breaks, a slew of snacks at my side until my eyeballs feel like they're ready to bleed but I just have to watch one more episode.

I can walk around naked just because and not have to worry about some horn ball living with me who would totally kill my mojo when he would probably assume I was only walking around naked for one reason and one reason only. Not that I'm against sex or anything, in fact, I love it. Who doesn't? I mean I really love it. Have I also mentioned that it's been a long time, like a really long time?

Living alone sounds awesome, right?

Anyway back to the point. I date...or I've dated. I've had a couple of boyfriends over the years but nothing ever too serious. I just haven't found someone that I completely click with and I haven't felt the urge that I absolutely need a man around. But...there's always a but, right? I don't want to go to this wedding by myself. The bitches—Maxie and Lydia—aren't friends with Anna-Beth, they loathe her in fact and have no idea why I've remained friends with her over the years. So one of them going with me is an absolute no-go. I'm blabbing, right? Let me just get into the actual story, hold on it's a bit messy.

Chapter 1

The night everything went to the shitter

Girls night was a weekly thing. It was the night where I put my holey yoga pants away, switching them out for the fancy hole free yoga pants, drank endless amounts of booze, and caught up with my two best friends in the world. No matter how busy the three of us got, we stuck to our girl's night.