Domain of Power-The Dreamer (Book 3)

Chapter 6: Long Road Ahead

                                                             "Long Road Ahead"

My eyes flew open, and I was back where I started. In bed. My joints protested with every movement of my legs as I shifted my weight to my back. I groaned before staring around the room, now washed in gray shadows that dimmed the reds, oranges, and greens of the frescos. The fact that I could make out the colors meant that dawn was breaking. But I no longer looked forward to mornings. It only marked a brief respite before another grueling day of lessons and pain began. If only I stayed asleep a little longer to find out how close I was to the pool! I pulled the wool sheets over my exposed limbs when footsteps swished against the tiled floor.

"My Excellency." I knew that soft, sweet voice. It was the same slave girl who tended to me.

"Troy..." When she called my name, there was a twinge of worry. She rarely called me by name. She apologized for addressing me without my title.

I shook my head, "My name is Troy. I prefer to be called just that."

She nodded, "Your grandfather summoned me to awaken you. I came earlier, but you were still sleeping. I did not want to disturb your sleep, even though you sleep much longer than before."

What was the problem with that? Not like I had places to be. Or council meetings to run like father and grandfather.

She offered to help groom me before Anias arrived when Grandfather entered the room.

"Greetings, Troy. Your tutor will be arriving within the hour. I told the cooks to save your portions." He glanced at the scrolls still neatly rolled up on the lampstand. Were you able to finish studying for today's lesson?"

I bit my lip. Truth is I had not read the assigned reading last night. After spending over eight hours of instruction in constant pain and enduring mental exercises, I was left weary. If I spent another day of lessons in my fragile state of mind, I feared I would only perform worse. And then Anias would have more reasons to berate me and tell grandfather and father how terrible a student I was.

"Can I skip my lessons today? I just started sleeping soundly through the night."

Grandfather frowned before letting out a sigh. "Anias is already on his way. It would be rude to cancel on such short notice. Before, you were so eager to resume your lessons, but now your zeal has waned. What happened?"

"I am not sleeping well. I think it is affecting my performance," I began.

"What is the real reason you are suddenly too tired to study and practice your reading? That you would rather spend your leisure time sleeping?" Grandfather turned to the slave girl who stood off to the side, twiddling with her fingers. She must have taken his stern glance as her cue to leave. Then he turned to me with unflinching eyes.

"Are you afraid of the report he will be sending your father today?" Grandfather pressed.

I bowed my head.

"I cannot do it."

"Do what?"

"Everything. I cannot sleep well. I cannot learn. I cannot walk. I cannot make Anias happy or you or Father, Apollus, or anyone. I hardly know how to perform basic tasks anymore," my voice cracked before I could continue.

His stern face softened.

"I feel so useless." I could not bear to look him in the eyes. I just wanted to disappear right now. He reached over and cupped my chin.

"Look at me, Troy. You are not useless."

I wanted to believe him. More than anything. But how could I feel good about myself when everyone around me berated me or treated me like a burden? I could feel my body shake as a surge of sadness, anger, and helplessness welled up in me, ready to explode. I did not want to see my tutor because there was no telling what I would say or do if he corrected me or made another harsh remark.