Not Right.

Day 2- Part 2

(A/N: sorry for the somewhat short chapter, just trying to get back into the swing of writing.)

I choked on my pancakes. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Joey looked down, blushing. "I said I keep thinking about us. I miss you, Ashton."

I panicked. "No no no no no no no... this CANNOT be happening. Listen Joey, I am truly flattered but I have a boyfriend that I love very much and I don't know if I can trust you again after what you did to me."

Joey slapped himself and shook his head. "Of course not. I knew that. You and Derek are meant to be. I'm just being stupid. Forget I ever said anything." He stood up and started walking away, embarrassed. 

"Joey! Wait! You can't just say that to someone and walk away! Get back here!" I chased after him, catching up with him just as he was about to exit the food court. Grabbing his arm, I demanded him to tell me exactly what he meant.

"Well you see, Ashton, when I say I keep thinking about us, that is exactly what I mean. I miss being Joey and Ash. I miss going on fun dates with you to the movies or just going to each other's houses and being silly. I miss YOU. It's not that complicated. Can I go now? I would like to leave before I am more embarrassed than I am right now." Joey huffed and crossed his arms.

I sat down and silently processed all of this new and unknown information. "How long?" I finally utter.

"What?"

"How long have you missed me?" 

"Ever since... ever since we broke up." Joey sank his face into his hands.

"3 years ago?!?! You waited 3 freaking years to tell me you missed me and that you were sorry?! Why didn't you say something sooner? Didn't it ever occur to you that I missed you too?"

"Look Ash, I was going to say something but then you started Derek and I figured you were over me. I couldn't do anything at that point. And no, it didn't occur to me that you would miss me considering it was you who broke up with me." 

I sighed. "Did you honestly think I wanted to break up with you? I didn't have much of a choice, considering it was you who cheated on me with Eva!" 

"It wasn't what you thought. She kissed me. I never had an interest in Eva. She just came onto me and I tried to stop it but I was too late. She was only jealous of what we had."

"What, exactly, did we have? It couldn't have been love. We were only kids. It was just a bit of fun, Joey. It wasn't real." I lied through my teeth.

"Not real?!" Joey practically yelled. "You call 3 years of dating NOTHING?! Not to mention the 3 years I've spent wallowing in my own tears after." Before I knew what was happening, Joey pulled my face towards his and smashed our lips together. It was exactly how our first kiss felt. And every kiss after that. I know that stupid spark thing was a myth but if it was real, there would definitely be fireworks between us. I pulled away, disgusted with myself.

"You call THAT nothing? I thought I was more than NOTHING, Ashton Violet Grey! I thought you loved me! I know I loved you. In fact, I STILL DO LOVE YOU! There, I said it! Are you happy now? I admitted to what I held back for so long." 

I didn't react at first. I was too shocked to do anything but breathe. "Joey, I.... I have to go." I ran in the direction of my chemistry class with no intention of going into the class. I sank down in the hallway just outside the door and let hot tears slip out of my eyes. One, two, three, four. I counted the tears as they fell until there were too many to keep count of. I cried all the tears i had held back all these years. All the heartbreak I had bottled up. I had been determined not to cry when we broke up I had been convinced he didn't deserve my tears. Or the time it took to cry them. Not after he cheated on me. But now, I knew the whole story. This changed everything. I wished desperately I could go back to that moment when I said those harmful words that changed my life. I wished I would have listened to him before I jumped to conclusions. 

I trudged to the bathroom to fix my makeup and get myself ready to face the entire world. My face, red and tear-stained, seemed beyond repair but eventually I got my eyes to stay open and dry, my mouth to smile, and I coaxed the bags under my eyes away. Nobody could know that I was crying, especially not my boyfriend. And much less, the reason I was crying. I was too good to be torn up over some boy I had dated for a measly 3 years. My longest relationship. And only relationship until Derek came along. 

(Flashback to 11th grade, the day Derek and I started dating)

"Hello." An unfamiliar voice spoke behind me. I spun in my chair and saw his face. Chiseled, yet smooth. Eyes like the sky. Lips like a movie star. 

"Uh, hi. Can I help you?" I uttered like a complete idiot.

"Actually, yes. You see, I am looking for a beautiful girl to take to the movies this weekend and I was wondering if you would consider auditioning?" He rambled on.

I raised my eyebrows. "Audition? For a date with you? I don't even know your name."

"My name's Derek. Your name is Ashton. See? Now you know my name." He smirked.

"Okay, but I don't know anything else about you. You could be a meth-head. Or just a complete weirdo. Besides, I don't act. Therefore, I don't do auditions." I played hard to get.

"I like you, Ash. I promise you, I'm not a meth-head or a complete weirdo. I'll make you a deal. You don't have to audition if you agree to going to the movies and dinner with me on Saturday."

"Hmm... let me think about it."

"Going once, twice..."

"Alright," I agreed. "You can't be that horrible."

(End of flashback)

Saying yes to that date might have been the best thing I've ever done. But breaking up with Joey might have been the worst.