The big "O"

私は本当にあなたが好き !

"Easy there, Pookie! Having a doctor in the house doesn't mean you should be a patient all the time!" he chuckled when I burst into the kitchen, hair and paper flying all over. But I just kept on sliding on my pink fuzzy socks, only stopping when I found myself wrapped in his arms. I blushed tomato red and struggled for breath. He'd been SO silent that I thought, ten minutes after immersing myself into writing the list, that he'd left me... Despite him telling me he was only making breakfast. Now here he was, shaking with laughter, all the ingredients for omelet spread on the counter and a steaming cup of coffee he'd hastily put down to catch me.

I took a small step back and discreetly tried to compose myself. Focused on my toes and took a few deep breaths. Then I placed the list and the pen aside on the counter. There will be time for it, now food sounded like a better idea.

"Can I help with cooking?" I asked quietly. Just couldn't find the courage to even raise by eyes above waist level, but I could feel him watching me. A sigh preceded a warm hand placed on my shoulder.

"You can. If you first tell me, honestly, what goes through that pretty head of yours. You've been jumpy and nervous for hours now. It's not good for you, Pookie!" he admonished gently. I shifted on my feet and thought about telling him I'm OK. Then I remembered Mr. Blackbourne speaking of trust and it felt wrong to expect Dr. Green's time and honesty. Not while answering my silly questions. And not while I was telling him a lie. Plus the possibility that he could tell when I was lying was a real one.

"Victor and Silas left today without saying anything. Without even a goodbye, after... And I am scared you'll go too..." I admitted softly. My chin trembled again when I thought of the heartbreaking possibility that I'd never see quiet, dependable Silas again. Never get another of his amazing hugs. Or Victor... Never feel his talented fingers on the back of my hand or on my ribs. Never again get lost in the intensity, the fire roaring in his gentle eyes. Never feel like an angel or a princess again. And just like that, my breathing had become gasping for air and a watery hiccup left me. A blink later and I found myself back, pressed against his solid chest, squeezed between his arms. A warm and welcome hug, even if it hurt more than it comforted in the wake of my mentally saying goodbye to Silas. His familiar scent soothed and made me feel needed. I tentatively placed my own arms around his waist and squeezed him back. Let my ear rest on his soothing heart beat.

"I knew I forgot something! Should have had the coffee before coming to speak to you this morning..." he muttered slowly. And my guess was he was talking to himself. Then he released me enough to lift my chin with his index finger. His green eyes were serious and concerned. So I held his gaze, waiting for the worst.

"No, Pookie! I asked them to go before you came out of the bathroom. Your peace of mind takes precedence over goodbyes and I wanted you to be informed and no longer scared after what happened. Things had to cool down first! Before you saw them again both you and them needed a few hours apart. Immediately! Plus North demanded they meet up at his trailer. Mr. Blackbourne is with them right now and I assure you they are not upset. They will come back to see you today, I could almost bet on it... if I was the betting type..." he finished, smirking. I slumped and grinned at him. It surprised how sure I'd been they were gone for good. He grinned back, one of his gentle, playful ones. Then he turned us both towards the counter and we started preparing the omelets.

Working in comfortable silence, with a few winks and giggles thrown in, between the two of us, we had a delicious smelling breakfast ready in the next ten minutes. Then we got settled side by side on the couch in Nathan's living room with the plates in our hands. For a few minutes, both of us ate in silence. The list I'd moved on the coffee table before us, along with the rest of Dr. Green's coffee. My mind went to all the questions written and unwritten. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, uncertain if I should wait or just start asking. A chuckle turned my attention to Dr. Green to see he'd finished his food and was now sipping coffee and watching me with an amused expression.