This Last Poem (One Shot)

...

"This last poem is for you
the one who I look up to
i wish you knew
while I'm writing this at 2
all I can think of is you"

It was 2 am, she can't sleep. All she can think about was him. She's confused... she's in love. While thinking of him, her heart was drenched with love and passion for him so, she wrote the very first verse of her poem that was for him.

"How many times do I have to remind you?
I will never leave your side
even though all your crazy acts
makes them wonder why
i have someone like you by my side."

Her friends always wonder how she and him became best friends, how they got along. Before, they were polar opposites, they were like parallel lines. Their friendship had the worst reason at the beginning, she thought all of it was just in the past. Nothing can change whatever they have now.They always ask her "How could you stand that crazy person?" She can never answer. All she knew was she's drawn to him like magnet. She knew that there's no escape from him.

"Every picture we have taken together
is hanging on my wall of wonders,
because until now i can't utter
my words that're full of adoration
for your smile, the way your eyes luster"

It was his eyes that was to blame or maybe his smile that drives her insane. She doesn't know why she can't delete nor throw away her pictures with him. She wanted to tell him how beautiful his eyes were when he smiles because of her. The thing is? She can't open her mouth to say so. All she can do was think of beautiful and flowery words for him, all she can do was keep it and never spoke of it.

"Every journey, every road taken
I even remember the walks near the A.M
or maybe going to place with no idea
how to get there, why we want to go there
because "there's more fun in that!", you say."

Now, as she was writing these words, she can't help but laugh and reminisce. All their late night agendas, it became a habit. Their Nights together were always fun as they let their feet lead the way. They have no idea where to go or why they want to go there. Sometimes they just hang around and wait for the sun to rise, but, it doesn't matter.

"Boy, all of the happy moments
simple but I can never forget
I'm always stuck in the feeling of euphoria
staining a wide grin on my face
a loving feeling to my heart."

They were so happy when they do that... and that was all that matters, she's happy when he's around. All of a sudden, the happiness that surrounds them became something more; butterflies are now erupting in her stomach. Happiness was replaced with confusion, and it wasn't a good thing. She can't... this can't be. She was feeling something else, her heart was certain of that feeling but her mind refuses to accept it. So, she smiled. She smiled and ignored the butterflies. She smiled to forget, but she knows that it was just a mask to what she was really feeling.

"But when I'm alone,
waiting for you to call
I get nothing, I get no text at all
Is it because we're just friends?
s'why you call me when you're just bored?"

Why was she writing this poem in the first place? Was she bored? No. She was just lonely. She's waiting for him, any sign of him. Any sign that he cares for her. The hardest part was when, she was just was just waiting for nothing. She felt used every time; like he will just call her when he got no one else to talk to; like he will just text her when she's the only one stupid enough to answer him. She's fighting the tears from coming out of her eyes. She's fighting with the pain stabbing her heart deep inside.

"Of course, I'm just your best friend,
nothing more, maybe less
why can't i accept that 'til now?
maybe because of your mixed signals?
no, that's just me assuming things."

She can't fight it, so she just let it all pour out. She doesn't know where to stand anymore. "He loves me because he needs me." She told herself because she wants that thought to sink in to her like poison, poison, that will slowly kill her feelings and her heart that beats for him. She doesn't even know if he considers her as his best friend. Her thought wander to another world where all the sweet tings that he has done are stocked to be remembered, all those memories were precious. As she remembers everything she couldn't help but fall in love over and over again. She doesn't want those times to be forgotten even though they were just mixed signals from him. She got tired of writing. She doesn't know what to write in the last verse. So, she fell asleep...

"I have to live in my dreams, get trapped in my imagination.
I'm writing this last poem, not to say goodbye,
but to get rid of my feelings
those that are forever unrequited
so they can rest in peace and die."

She was awoken by her own dream:

A white rose was placed in her right hand. She can see everyone around her crying and looking at her direction, she doesn't know why. Everything was just pain sad and monochromatic. She looked down to her right arm and saw blood everywhere, she looked further down to her hand, she was holding something. She lifted her arm and opened her hand to see a beating heart. To whom does this heart belong to? She said. After then, she turned her head like a crazy person would do and saw the people around her were gone. Suddenly... in front of her was the man that he loves. He was smiling... at her... why was he happy? He looked into his eyes and saw her reflection, her chest was stabbed and there was nothing in it. There it was, the answer to her question, it was her heart that she was holding.

The ground in front of her became an open grave, it separated her and the person he loves. He held out right hand and she cried because of what she saw; it was a knife, covered with her blood. He opened his hands and the knife was dropped to the open grave. Then, he lifted his left arm and held out his hand. He kept his eyes on her, he was asking for something... her heart.

She doesn't know what to do. She knows that his left arm and hand was weak and he will just drop her heart to the open grave. She cried as she looked into his eyes. She did what she had to do...

She trembles as she reach out her hand, he smiled at the thought of her giving it to him. He's finally getting what he wants, so he reached out ready to take her heart and break it! He was taken aback because of what he saw in his hands; it was the white rose that was in her hand, it turned red because of her blood. When he looked in front of her, no one was there anymore. He looked down at the grave and saw her. She pierced her heart with the knife that he owned. She was lying on the ground of the grave, lifeless...

And that made her write the last verse. That made her realize that what she was feeling is completely wrong and unrequited. He will never love her, she was a fool to ever believe such fantasy. Her last poem was an end... but a start to something better.