I wanted Edward the same way some people want that lazy-eyed kitten with the snaggle fang at the Animal Shelter, the one with the bad cough and the scaly patches of missing fur. It's kinda gross, that kitten, but you want to protect it - because sure, it could probably give you hepatitis, but it's so pathetic it's actually kinda cute. It doesn't even have to be a very nice kitten; in fact you have fallen in love with its rabid shyster attacks against your shoelaces and think 'damn, this kitten has personality'.
Well. Okay, so it helped that Edward at his worst was 'GQ model after the meth rots his face off' and not exactly 'flea-bit swamp cat', because the vampire thing… The Vampire Thing. That whole mess - I just - and I mean, here's why we need to back this story up; because during the events that followed that fateful evening, this wasn't just My Story anymore. Suddenly, my life wasn't all about Me. Which, you know, being the only child of a single parent, was a new concept.
So. Story time is going to get introspective, I guess, like the slow-mo impact of an immovable object getting ear-fucked by an unstoppable force. Like, there really isn't any other way my life could have played out to its end.
"Twilight Gary Stu"
A rewrite of epic proportions as seen on
FanFiction.net under username MaussHauss
YOU ARE READING
Twilight G.S.
FanfictionAs lemony-lime as a week in the Keys, it's the NSFW adventures of Bernardo Swan! This is what happens when you feed unemployed authors unmitigated amounts of cheap beer. Besides the gross sobbing.
