Toxic

Chapter 1

Hi there! I'm back! Senior year and finals are OVER for me! I've started re-posting this novel from the very beginning. It used to be in third person, but I've switched it to first person. I hope that by re-posting this, old readers can re-read the novel and remember what had happened, especially considering it's been ages since I updated.

I sincerely hope that I will get this novel finished this year, and that my updates will be consistent.

Enjoy!

***

Showing up to Nate's party was a mistake, and it took me four hours to realise this.

I had convinced myself that leaving the house was the right decision simply because I had been spending an unhealthy amount of time at home. When there was nothing to do, my thoughts consumed me. I'd much rather forget about everything that had transpired over the last year.

The alcohol was effective at first.

"Your smile is nice," Nate had told me as he walked passed. I was bobbing up and down in my seat to a tune I really liked. I had heard it somewhere, but I couldn't remember where.

I could tell Nate was amused by my behaviour. I had been a bit aloof during my first few weeks at Elm Scott Senior High. But with alcohol, I seemed almost extroverted. Almost.

"I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've seen you smile," Cass added. She fell beside me on the couch, the god-knows-what from her cup splashing onto her leg. I was about to say something about how that wasn't true at all, but she continued. "God, look at Samantha," she said under her breath.

Samantha Lee, Nate's girlfriend, was shooting me daggers. I had noticed she wasn't exactly fond of me, but I couldn't figure out what I had exactly done in the last 20 seconds to piss her off.

"She hates it when Nate is nice to other girls," Cass said, answering my unspoken question.

"Of course she does." There was very little that Samantha did actually like.

The next few hours were a blur. Cass downed so many shots that we lost count. I bobbed up and down a bit more, dancing with Cass when I wasn't bobbing. I remembered laughing a lot, something I apparently didn't do too often according to Cass. It felt good, being so carefree for a bit... But then the alcohol hit Cass whilst mine wore off, my content mood rapidly disappearing. I realised that the location doesn't matter. I could be in Paris, I could be at home, I could be anywhere. Even in the middle of a house party, you can feel alone as ever.

"You look pretty out of it," called out a guy I vaguely recognised. Over half the people at this party were people I just vaguely recognised. The perks of being a transfer student, I guess.

I shrugged, letting out a sigh. I was slumped on the limestone wall in the backyard, my toes numbing against the freezing mildew that layered the grass beneath my feet. It was May, meaning that it was starting to get very cold at night. Had I noticed this sooner, I would have worn something a bit more substantial than the flimsy white tee I had on.

"You all right?" the guy continued when I didn't reply in time, concern etching his features. He stood up from his seat a few metres away and took a place beside me on the limestone.

"Yeah, just tired," I muttered in a voice that was unintentionally a bit too soft.

Tiredness was an odd thing. Regardless of how much I slept, I needed more of it. I had been in a perpetual state of fatigue for a very long time now, and I had come to accept that it would probably stay like this for quite a while.