Times these are when I need you most in life
But I keep forgetting you've lost yours.
This grief I feel doesn't leave most times
I just hide it till the night when I can be alone.
Times like now,when I'm laying in bed sobbing my eyes out replaying the last night I saw you.
Thinking I could've stopped your premature death if I had just stayed another hour or so.
Times when people tell me to stop thinking of that night,
But they don't understand that's not what is in my mind it's that I've lost you.
I never get to tell you I love you anymore unless I'm talking to the empty space in front of me wishing you were there somehow.
Maybe they don't know because they've had a whole family their entire life.
Times I wish I could text you still but I know you won't reply but I sit there all night and wait for something that will never come.
The times I see your house and break down right there.
The times you treated me like your real granddaughter made me feel the best because I had one that wanted to be in my life, you were happy to be there.
That time when I was leaving your house as we planned to hang out the next day you said, "I love you baby girl I'll see you tomorrow."
But tomorrow never came.
How after I heard I only wanted you there for me.
To have someone you love so much, so much love given to you ripped from you in two hours is heart breaking.
Sometimes I wonder if you can hear me or see me.
And one day I can add more to this list and see you again but until then I love you baby girl I'll see you tomorrow.
