CWTB

She Got Away.

"We need to talk"
This statement triggers a state of unrest in your head.
"PREPARE TO DEFUSE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"
You know that the inevitable is about to happen. You want to postpone it. You want to get high before meeting with her. You want to RUN! But your boys convince you to be a man.. That they're with you.
You groom yourself. You have to look good for the Miss.
- - - - -
After 10 minutes of awkward moments, silences and weird conversations, she clears her throat..
"Guys? Is this it?"
"Guys?"
You there?"
Alas! They fled.
"I don't think this is working"
What?
And just like that, that sunken feeling appears.
You take a gulp of your awfully hot coffee.
You don't feel the pain
You don't even feel your hands holding onto the mug
She speaks, but all you can see is her lips moving.
There's an urge to scream.
No. You NEED to scream.
But you can't.
"Ahem.."
"So.. Have you noticed that that camera *points* is broken?"
She's confused.
But you're in denial.
No matter how hard your boys had prepped you, it still hurts.
So, no.
You ignore it.
"Yes.. As I was saying, I don't think this is..."
"Do you know what's weird? The fact that this mug double reflects my finger here *points*"

And suddenly, the boys make their entrance
"That's it bruv.."
"You got this..."
"I'm suggesting what fucked up thing to think tonight.."
"Stoned thoughts on me.."; K hastily adds..
But one is quiet. And we all look at him. He's a weird one. Shy among boys. But he speaks up...
"She's just said it's over dude. Just look at her.."
And we all turn around. She is sitted there, looking at me like I've gone mad. No.. She's mad.. No. No. There's pain in her eyes.
"Tell me you don't feel that. Listen to her voice. It's not mellow. It's croaky"
And we all keep quiet. And we listen.
"It's not that I don't love you.. No. I still do love you.. But I'm not happy. I haven't been."
Her voice.. The pain.
She wants to cry.
I want to cry. But no..
I want to hug her.
I want to tell her that it's gonna be alright.
I want her to smile once more. Her smile could light up the entire city.
And I shift uneasily, trying to find my strength to move closer to her...
"Stop. Don't move. Just look at her body. She doesn't want you to hug her."
And we all look. She's not open as usual. It's too late now. Not even my tight hugs can calm her.
She sips her coffee.
It's my turn to speak.
"Okay.. I've.. Gdgsaegcnkiytsasgcbj.."
"Stop mumbling!", S (the shy one) almost screams at me.
She looks confused
"Just okay?"
No.. I need to come up with something! Now!
I look at the boys. They're watching football and stuff.. Smh
"Okay.. Can't we fix this? We surely can.."
Shit
Shit
Shit
I'm still in denial.
The boys roll in laughter.
Dumbasses!
After moments of mumbling and jumbled sentences, emotional eye-to-eye stares and occasional heartfelt conversations, she asks for the bill. And leaves.
And I'm left alone in that booth, with a half empty mug of latté.
A burning tear tries to force its way out. But no! I gotta stay manly. I gotta put up my tough guy mask.
The boys are silent.
They aren't watching football.
They are motionless.
I'm contemplating whether or not to follow her
"It's never too latté!"
I half smile at K's attempt at being punny.
"Just go home man. Don't follow her." S says.
I'm not even feeling the coffee anymore.
Another tear threatens, but nope. Not today!
I wake up, pick my coat up and I leave.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
And I drag myself to a skate park. And I wallow in my misery.
And not even the boys can help here.
That's when I realize that I'm all alone.