covered me gracefully (please, save me)

dirty blood

this flopped on ao3 so ! yes here u go

heaven is nothing like tyler had imagined.

there are clouds, yes, soft and golden as they float through the sky. he lays atop them to pass his days, halo hovering over fluttering lashes as strawberry juice drips from the sky and splatters delicately into his open mouth. ecstasy's always been a distant concept to him, but he's awash in it now.

no, the main deriving issue of the afterlife is not the scenery. it is not the company, either; family absent, the ever-present lack of parents or siblings lifts a heavy weight off tyler's slender shoulders. there is only one being with him here, and it's the only one he's ever wanted:

josh, his loyal, soft-skinned cherub. crackly, overdyed hair now it's original brunette, a curvy little thing curled next to tyler's entity; his once hoarse and fearful throat now blossoms with giggly chrysanthemums that cascade through the sky like silk. tyler can't stop touching him, unbelieving and full of awe as josh's body shivers under his hands. when he was alive, tyler had grown with the belief that he wouldn't be allowed into paradise with a boy on his arm; but he is here now, ethereal as his silhouette melts into josh's.

everything feels perfect, as it should in the presence of yahweh. he hasn't seen him much, as he'd presumed, but tyler can feel his being in the rich air around them. he's the buzz in tyler's lips when josh kisses him, in the fluff in his newfound wings as his aura fades into josh's skin, in the calming feeling of home floating comfortably in his ribcage.

but something is off. something unsettling burrows behind tyler's eyelids as they close in climax, makes his hands flinch when he goes to pet josh's hair, grips his skin with an urgency so terrifying, tyler wishes he could cry here. josh seems to feel it, as well, an uneasy filter covering his pupils as he looks to tyler in worry on occasion. it should not be this way.

he lies in the sky with josh on a sleek night, every star visible and twinkling close to their softly breathing flesh as they press close. their naked bodies slide against one another, faces nuzzled close as haphazard kisses are place against open mouths. josh's flawless palm presses to tyler's cheek, thumb rolling circles over his skin as his mouth travels to his jaw; a nonexistent breath catches in tyler's lungs as his arms wind around josh's waist, lightly grazing his fingernails against the pale skin lying there and drinking in his quivering. the scratches he leaves only last a brief moment before they disappear into a milky white, but tyler still feels a sense of pride as the warmth between josh's holy thighs rocks against his hip at the feeling.

"tyler," josh whimpers into his neck, and tyler's skin flushes from tan to a peach pink as he clutches josh's hips. he'll never tire of that heavenly voice purring his name, sweet and desperate and absolutely addicting.

"josh," tyler mumbles back, one palm stroking up josh's spine to tangle in his hair. he ruts his pelvis against josh's fleshy tummy, and josh lets out another broken coo as his fingers tickle over tyler's torso. every touch is electrified, now, so they feel like untouched virgins as they explore the other's body as if they're teenagers again. it's been a while, but every time feels like they're buried under josh's dollar store sheets in a tiny house in ohio again.

a hazy gasp leaves josh's lips, and the steady feeling of euphoria tapers out as a sense of fear and coldness blows over the two. "someone's watching," josh murmurs, fingers gripping tyler's slender shoulders in fear rather than pleasure. "eyes, tyler. can you see 'em?"

"i can feel them," tyler whispers, forcing his own pupils to capture josh's gaze and cement his attention. "they can't get us here, not anymore. we're safe. i promise."

a terrified squeak escapes from behind josh's teeth, and his elegantly awkward, oddly attractive face hides away in tyler's chest; the feeling of tranquility and arousal tapers away into terror as something burning and hot digs into tyler's thigh. he cinches his eyes shut, resisting the hellfire as best he can as he wraps himself around josh to keep him safe. the bible said nothing about sin here. tyler has never been more terrified.

"even though..." he tries to begin, but the lick of flames at his bare spine breaks him off into a frenzied groan. josh stiffens in his hold, but his halo continues to glow, so tyler resumes his prayer. "even though walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i-i will, ah, fear no evil."

the spark continues to claw at tyler's skin, but it lessens as he speaks, so he forces himself to continue as josh dryly sobs. "—for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they c-comfort me."

biting back a scream, tyler squeaks as a low growl emits from behind him, not unlike a feral dog. the atmosphere is twenty degrees hotter, and the sweat pouring from tyler's immaculate skin feels like fat and muscle tearing off and onto the incomprehensible expanse below him. he doesn't let go of josh. he never will.

"surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life," his tone cracks; he thinks he's missing a few verses, but he's proud of himself for even coming this close to finishing. "and i shall dwell in the house of the lord forever!"

that last word, shaky and scared, seems to resonate with the demonic creatures trying to break them; the heat snaps away immediately, all sense of fright and disgust fading along with it as their sweat dries and josh quiets. they're still and silent for a single moment, breath being inhaled as their unbeating hearts calm; when the metaphoric dust settles, josh shyly squirms halfway out of tyler's grip to run his sweaty palm over his burnt back. even as he watches, the scalding blacks and reds begin to fade, but the fragility of tyler's soft winces of pain mean something.

fingertips running across his skin as gently as possible, josh rubs his thumbs over the sizzling feathers crumbling from tyler's otherworldly shoulderblades. "you okay?" he breathes, consciously ignoring the own burning of his body.

tyler doesn't. while josh coaxes digits across mauled flesh, tyler leans over to press his mouth against the aching sections of skin and wing the beings had tried to claim while josh raggedly pants against his arm. "are you?" tyler hums in return, and they remain silent until the burning fades into a welcoming chill.

they fall into one another, then, touches that were once dirty and fast now sacred and soft; no need for preparation or protection, they can dive in as soon as they need. faces pressed close, the tip of josh's finger in between his teeth as he mewls, the gentle shelter of tyler's wings unfolding to hide them away from anyone and everyone, even though they are alone. this has always been tyler's heaven: with josh, kissing josh, inside josh, holy and raw and transcendent.

things can never be perfect for long.