ASCENSION

Chapter Two - The Fog

My life began the day it ended. 

As I lay still with my eyes shut, my eyelids like weights, a vague sensation of heat in my right arm pulled me out of my stupor. My head felt heavy and fuzzy, like my brain was made of steel wool instead of gray matter. My right hand was pleasantly warm compared with the rest of my body, cold and listless. I slowly opened my eyes against the strong force that held them shut and through the haze. I could see I was in a small dim room that I didn't recognize. My heart pounding from fear, I searched through my mind for a hint of memory related to this place. 

My eyes darted around the room; my vision was blurry. Everything was coming in and out of focus. The room was faintly lit by a small bit of light escaping from the edges of the thick, dark shade pulled over a window to my left. To my right, there were some medical supplies on a shelf and a closed door visible in front of where I lay. My breathing was fast and shallow. I felt dizzy and weak. I wondered, Was I in a hospice somewhere? But where? Where could I possibly be? 

My thoughts, very easily distracted, turned to how cold I felt. I had a blanket covering me, yet I felt like I was made of ice. I was drawn to the one different sensation: to my right hand. It was oddly warm despite the fact that the rest of me was terribly cold. 

With the little strength that I had, I lifted my hand toward my face, trying to focus my eyes on it. My hand was unusually pale, or was it an effect of the dimly lit room? I thought. I could see a tube going into my hand, a dark intravenous tube. I followed it with my eyes to see it ending at a large bag of dark liquid hanging on a pole beside the bed. On the bag, I just barely made out the "A+." 

It took a few seconds for my brain to react, to register that it was blood going into me, and then suddenly, my heart found the strength to race again. My breathing worked up to a gasp as I realized I was having a reaction to the blood. I was a type B negative. I couldn't have A positive blood. It would kill me! Where the hell am I? Why wouldn't they know this? 

I tried to scream, but my voice was so powerless that all I could get out was a faint whisper. I kept trying to make my mouth work, gasping and flailing, struggling hard to get out of bed. A loud clang rang out in the room as something metallic fell off the bed. I heard the sound of footsteps coming toward the door. I tried with all my might to make my mouth say, "Help me, I'm dying in here," but all I could get out was a dry-sounding croak from my pasty throat. Finally, the door shot open, and in a split second, someone was beside me. It was a woman, and she touched my head as she looked down at me lovingly.  

With my eyes wide with panic, I begged, "Help me," in the meekest of voices. 

"Sleep," she said. "Everything's OK." 

My head was swimming. I was sure death was near. I was resolved that if I shut my eyes, I would die! Through my hysteria, I could see that she was accompanied by a man. 

He whispered, "It's too soon!" 

I could hear myself muttering, "I'm type B. I'm type B negative . . . I can't have this blood!" I tried to rip the tube out of my hand, but I had so little strength that it was futile. 

"Take it out! Take it out!" I screamed, but the words came out as a mumble. The man held me down as the woman spoke. 

"Everything is OK, Ivy. You're not ready yet." 

Through tears of frustration, I heard myself pleading, "You're killing me. Stop. Please, stop!" 

She put something in my IV, and despite the fight to keep my eyes open, they became so heavy that they closed slowly against my will. 

Suddenly, I was really light, floating . . . floating in a warm white space. I was weightless. My feet touched the ground, and the white space transformed into my favorite park, the park where I always took Sam, my golden Lab, where he could run wild with the other dogs.