Pull the Trigger

Past events

  Words can't describe my life. Maybe it's like fucked up or sad but to me it's like hell. I don't know how hell feels or looks but people at church always say it's a worst place to be at. Well that's what the people on the tv say, so that's what I know. I haven't stepped in a church for a while. And the only reason I step in to a church is for funerals or weddings but mostly funerals. My family members mostly die or make a lot of babies. Like in my family, I have six sisters. Yes, you read that right. SIX SISTERS!! I bet your thinking, that poor bastard. But wait I also have a brother but he's one of those guys who never seem to be in the family. He's like a cousin or some shit. He always comes to family events for free food. He's one of those Mexicans but don't get me wrong. I love Mexicans cause I'm Mexican but fuck! But back to my brother issue, he's been very far from us cause of our family issues, which I'll talk about soon. So he join the navy but then quit like a year later cause he fell down and injure his knee. The money he got which I call " we feel bad for you bitch, here take the money" so he moved away from us. So I only see him when he needs money, his girlfriend dumped him, or like I said family events that involves free food. But he isn't the oldest in these sibling group of my family. Before I talk about my sisters. I should starts with my parents. My dad was born in Mexico, typical Mexican guy. But was always picked on cause his parents gave him a white name. Name Noah, he grew up in Mexico but moved to the states when he was 16 with my grandparents they lived in Texas. Once he started high school, he didn't know any English. But he fell in love with this English girl, name Margie who was transferred all the way from England. My dad use to tell me she would have long brown hair and pale skin. He loved her once he saw her, so he kept practicing till he was ready to ask her out. Basically what he asked her if she liked tacos and should eat some with him. And she said yes. A year later my mom was pregnant. I should tell you my mom was 13 years old when she found out she was pregnant which basically was told not to come home cause she was a whore to her parents eyes. My mother moved in with my dad's parents house. When she turn 14 years old, three days later my older sister Angelina was born. My dad got a job so he can support his small family when my dad turn 20 my mom was already pregnant with brother Noah. Then 5 years later my mom gave birth to my sister Brooke. Once my mom was 28 my mom had a miscarriage, so she lost it. She was depress for year and a half. Till she found out she was pregnant with me. Angelina always told me my mom wouldn't let anybody touch me when I was born. My mom would keep me away from anybody. Then my twin sisters Samantha and Stephanie were born a year after me, my mom didn't give much attention to them but only to me. Then my mom got depress right after she gave birth to my sister Alexis. She started to lose her mind, then started hanging out in the attic. Talking to herself up there, but I do remember that I would want to go up there. So I did one day and my mom was drugged, I knew that because there was a needle laying near her. And she had cuts all over her body. She basically bribed me to come over just for her love. And I did. I know this cause I have nightmare of it about all of them. But that went on for a while. She went overboard with protecting me, my dad wasn't always around anymore more. I knew my mother stopped loving my dad when she decided to take advantage of my body when I was 11. My dad found out when I took off my shirt and saw the cuts over my body. And took my mom to a rehab area, she was gone for a year and during that year my close friend decide to force me to have sex with him. I was scared cause my body was weak and the only person I trusted in my life was doing this to me. I been just laying on the ground feeling dead. Once he finish I ran out naked to get away. It was on the news for days. My mom was back home when I just turn 12 years old. She wasn't pleased someone touch me, so she decided to touch me to replace the past touch. I didn't like the feeling my mom touching me or her moaning in my ear.  9 months later my mom gave birth to Tess. My father never knew Tess wasn't his. I didn't want him to know, it wasn't his. I didn't want anybody to know. When I was 13, my mom decided it was time to end her life. She wanted me to end it with her. She start cutting her wrist and her throat. Blood was everywhere, I grabbed her knife and when I was about to begin doing it till I got scared.. I ran downstairs to tell my father, what my mother have done. But he didn't see a little boy crying to his dad. He saw a murder coming down to his dad, showing him the evidence what he had done to his wife his high school sweetheart. Not hours later, I was in handcuffs. Being sent away for the murder of my mother. 7 months later, my sister found the tapes my mother was hiding of everything she was doing to me and what she did to herself. Everything was out. Even Tess not being my dad's daughter. I was released weeks after, my father felt petty for me. He felt bad for me. But he's been cheating on that woman since he realized he was gay, 2 years ago. At the age of 15, I slept with my dad's boyfriend he's been with 4 years. I started smoking pot at 15 and enjoyed it. Drank my lungs out with alcohol. Mixing drugs like a crazy person. Met a girl name Ana, she was 22. We decided to date, we broke and weeks later she was pregnant. I told her I would be the baby's dad but I didn't want to get back together. When I turn 16, I met Summer. Summer stolen my heart even tho she didn't know. I never knew what love was, till I met her. How something so beautiful, just take something from me so easily.