Why is it that you only realize what you had once it's gone?
I almost had it all. I had a large family, a devoted wife, many children, and I even had a beautiful mistress. Granted, my family banished me more times than I can count. They weren't my biggest fans... My wife was suffocating and my children were... unconventional, to say the least. And my beautiful mistress wasn't always the loving angel that she could be. I say that because she has tried to kill me on multiple occasions. Maybe I shouldn't have had a mistress. That would have saved me a whole heap of trouble and saved a lot of lives... But anyway, nobody's perfect. Least of all Yours Truly. Despite the hiccups, I really did have it good. I just had to go and listen to that stupid severed head, and its oh so wise prophecies. Look at all the good it did me...
One event that the head prophesied was Ragnarök – the final battle between the Aesir (gods) and the Jötuns(demons). This final battle meant the end of the world, and the end of the gods. At first I didn't listen to the prophecy, and then I tried to stop this great misfortune. I couldn't, so I just accepted my fate, as you might call it, and let events take their course.
I fought on the front line, unfortunately not for the Asgardians, but for the Jötuns. I fought hard to prevent my supposed fate of doom with death and destruction in my wake. I fought to tell my own story and decide my own fate. Turns out my fate was already decided. The battle raged on for days, weeks, months, I don't even know. Time became nothing to us as we brought our chaos into the world. I destroyed countless gods - Balder was the first. Honestly, I regret carving that arrow out of mistletoe, but Freyr gave me no choice! She had gone round all nine realms, extracting oaths from every being that they would never harm her precious son. She practically challenged me to find something that could harm Balder. So I tricked Freyr into telling me that she thought that mistletoe was so small and innocent a thing that it was superfluous to ask it for an oath. I fashioned a dart out of the innocent plant's wood, and gave it to a blind god to throw at Balder when they were testing all weapons against him. It was so tiny that no one was worried it would hurt him, but it killed him instead, to the shock of all present, myself included That was the beginning of the end for Odin's reign.
Eventually, Asgard was reduced to a pile of rubble. Even I, the Great Trickster, was destroyed. I no longer reside in the shining halls of Asgard. I have been banished to the darkness whence I came, reduced to my primitive form. I guess I deserve it. Now that I look back I wasn't the most trustworthy God, or the easiest to deal with. But I did what I thought was right at the time! You can't blame a guy for looking out for Number 1. That's me. I'm Number 1. Most of the other Gods didn't like me. Even Odin was wary of me in the end, and I was his blood-brother! Problems were always blamed on me, as if I were the only one that could make mistakes. As if Gods couldn't make mistakes. But they could make plenty of mistakes, and trusting me seems to have been the first one...
So Ragnarök wasn't good for anyone really, and now I'm stuck here, in the pure chaos. I've been sitting here, alone, for so long that my guilt has reduced me to a quivering shadow of my former self. Now the world consists of fire and ruin, and it was all because of me. My big-headedness and ego just got in the way. Of course I couldn't fix things – I wasn't a true god. I was a fraud, an imposter. All those good, albeit troublesome, gods, dead and buried, because of me. If I could go back in time and destroy that blasted head, I would. They say that the past is the past, you can't change history, but I wish I could. I wish I could go back and do good, not be the 'Great Trickster' Loki. I guess I wouldn't be true to myself then, but, hey, at least I wouldn't be dead. Being false is definitely better than being dead. Actually, being dead would be preferable to the Hel that I am in. I kick myself every day for not listening to Odin. For not repenting my ways. For desiring more than I was deserved of. For making too many mistakes.
Well, what's done is done, and I will just sit here and rot. For eternity.
