Markiplier x Banana

All Joking and Foolery Aside

"What a funny video!" Markiplier exclaimed to himself, watching himself observe a gorgeous banana. "Oh, I must get the bæ." He stood from his seat and went to get his banana girlfriend in his bedroom.
He opened the door to find her sleeping in his sheets, not moving at all because she's an inanimate object.
"Baby, it's time to wake up," he coaxed, touching the smooth yellow skin with affection.
'Huh? Spinach balls?' the banana thought. "Oh, hey Mark."
"Hello!" Mark scooped her up and kissed her all over. "I want to show you what I made with you. It's really funny, and I got other people to make the subtitles!"
"Very cool, honey!" She smiled up at him with nothing but still smiled in spirit.
Mark got her banana stand and sat her on it. "Just...don't laugh too hard."
They watched the video, bursting out loud with laughter at random moments. When it finished, the banana kissed his hand. "That was hilarious!"
"I was hoping you thought so!" Mark hugged the banana.
"You...really wanted to make love to me, baby?"
"Well..." Mark blushed. "I was..but I don't want to pressure you."
"It's a little early in the day, but I'm ready." The banana was aroused by the animate and living human.
"Ah, I understand." Mark picked up the banana. "Would you like to go out today?"
"Oh yes! Just please remember to refrigerate me so I don't start rotting.."
"Yes, darling. Just for you." Mark kissed the banana tenderly.
He buckled the banana into its seat belt. "We can always go to the park."
"I would love that."
Mark turned the key of his car and started driving to a park. When they were parked, he carried his girlfriend to  a bench. He laid down with the banana on his chest.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered.
"Thank you!" the banana said, blushing slightly.
"Any time." Mark smiled and kissed the banana. "You know I love you."
"I love you, too."
Mark pulled out a bag of Doritos and gave one to the banana.
"Doritos! My favorite! Thank you!" The banana held it happily.
Mark pulled out some Mountain Dew and poured some on her.
The banana moaned out. "Oh, yes...yes..."
Mark poured more, getting some on his shirt.
"Hnnnnn..." The banana smiled and sighed.
Mark stroked the banana with two fingers and smiled. "You ready to go home?"
"..please, Mark....hnnngh.."
Mark sat up and took his girlfriend to the car, buckled her in, and drove back home.
When they got back home, Matt and Ryan were waiting for them outside, holding hands. "There you are," Ryan muttered.
Matt hugged onto him. "We had a rough time watching all the animals. So we let Chica eat the walls."
"Whet?!" Mark questioned. "Why would you do that?"
"I've got this." The banana grew legs and went inside, petting all the animals and fixing the wall. The boys went inside to find everything perfect.
"She's a keeper," Matt and Ryan said together before going to their bedroom happily.
Mark kissed the banana all over. "Nnnngh..."
"Oh, Mark...please..."
Mark would give the banana what she deserved, then put her beside the microwave while cleaning her and keeping her fresh.