Submerged

*** I highly recommend listening to the song while reading for a better experience. ***
*** Thank you and enjoy. ***

***

S U B M E R G E D

The strong alcohol scent woke me up.

That and my mother just slammed the door like she owned the damn place.

Which she didn't.

She mumbled and muttered and hummed to herself. Dragging her feet across the dirty dark carpet, lifting up the cigarette smell and carrying the alcohol smell with her. It was as strong as bleach alone.

"Wake up, Vic- You lil' shit face." She slurred, opening the fridge door, the light of it flickering. She slammed it shut, making it shake, "We need more milk." She groaned.

I rolled my eyes and exhaled strongly through my nose.

"Get up-" She commanded weakly, "Inconsiderate..." My mother let herself drown on the second crappy queen sized bed of the room before managing to finish off her sentence.

The empty glass bottles on the bed clinked together and fell to the carpet with a low thud.

After a few silent seconds, I gathered the information that she was fast asleep, unconscious.

I grunted off my squeaking bed. Grabbing my dirty black worn-out satchel, I sprinted towards the door. I took the cap hanging off the doorknob and slammed the door behind me as well.

Instantly a cold strong wind slapped my face. The consequence of living near the Atlantic Ocean. But it's windier than usual.

I fixed my forest green large sweater so it didn't look as wrinkly, and fought against the wind, trying to place the cap on my head so it gave off the illusion that I am decent.

To my right, the motel manager had seen me across his office window. He gave me a dirty glare as he reluctantly stood up and trotted his way towards me. To repeat to me what he has said to my mother and I for the past 10 days. He opened the screen door to his office sloppily. As if he would rather be doing something else than waste his time with a 20-something like me. The thought of my mere existence contaminated his brain. To him, I was just another statistic.

"Hey!" Nikolis lazily said, trying to get my attention, all the while not wanting to acknowledge me, "You and your drunk ma' have not paid in over a week!"

I scoffed, ignoring him, and sprinted away from the motel lot.

"I told y'all-" He continued to make his point but I was too ignorant to care.

Nikolis, the manager, says we cannot stay at the motel for another week unless we pay what we already owe. He keeps saying he'll do whatever it takes to get us out of that room.

"Yeah right," I muttered to myself, "That's what you said a month ago." I start kicking a small rock along the sidewalk until I finally reach my subconsciously desired destination.

Dunkin Donuts.

America runs on Dunkin.

Please, America's so fat, it can't even walk on Dunkin.

My fingers shook suddenly and my lips ached. They yearned for the thing that kills me from the inside out. I tried not to listen to my conscience but it's hard. I've become a slave to myself.

I dug into bag, desperate. In search of a measly little cigarette.

I looked up exasperated, and my eyes shifted all throughout the parking lot. I scanned the shore, there wasn't any water near the rocks like there usually is. My eyes shifted back to the parking lot and noticed the red motorcycle with the word "Fucker" scratched on it.

I think Rob is working today.

I walked towards the motorcycle, shiny as ever.

I traced the word with my cold boney fingers.

"I remember that day," Someone spoke.

I looked up, startled.

It was Rob. His curly black hair dancing along with the wind, he was lighting his cigarette. He cupped the flame and lit his cig, later placing it in his mouth.

"Well, next time don't be late to prom. Especially when it's your idea. You left me standing there like a wife with nothing else to do than wait for her husband to come back from war."

"Vietnam was crazy that night, okay?"

"Oh, please. You were fucking your sister's best friend's brains out." I said coldly, "... Like she had any, to begin with." I tried not to sound hurt.

He chuckled, the cigarette bobbing up and down.

Rob caught me staring at it, "I would offer you one, but you should quit." He said, sucking in the nicotine. "These things kill you." He concluded.

Little did he know he was the one killing me softly every time he looked at me.

I stared into his piercing gray-blue eyes as he looked away at the waves forming.

He would never know I was truly madly in love with him.

Every time he looked away I was the one staring at him.

Always. I was always focused on him. I've never wanted anyone else than him.

We've known each other for forever. Since kids, truly. Our parents are pieces of shit, and so are we. We're meant to be destructive to each other.

It's destiny.

If only he knew that.

His eyes widened, in shock. Then turned to me. And for the first time in all the years we've known each other, he looked at me differently. As if something finally switched in his brain. Something clicked between us.

Then he started panicking.

"Vic!" He called, "We need to get out!"

"What?" I said, and he spoke some more. But I couldn't hear anything. It was so loud and it started raining, downright pouring.

He took my shoulder in his hand and made me face the ocean.

There was a huge wave coming at us. No way to survive from it.

And we were about to be submerged in it.