instead of butterflies, i have knives
its this overwhelming, sickening feeling deep inside.
instead of a smile on my lips, i have tears in my eyes and new scars on my thigh.
you used to ruin my lipstick but now my mascaras on my cheeks and my knees are weak
i cant even look at you without getting so dizzy i cant see
and i cant sleep because every time i close my eyes i see yours
and im constantly reminded just how much you didnt love me
and it hurts
but ill tell you im fine
because really, i dont mind
just as long as youre happy, ill accept whatever you throw at me
no matter how much i want you to be mine
and youll never see how broken i really am because ill pretend im okay
you shattered my heart but ill pretend it didnt phase me
to see you with her kills me
to know you dont even care dug my grave
and the look you give me now lowers me down
why am i so hurt but you get to be okay?
you were supposed to be different but thats something ill never say
you shouldve been different
you hurt me so bad but youll never know
and youll never know that youre the first and last thing i think about every day and how much that hurts
11:11 and i pray for you to love me back but it doesnt work that way
so ill just pretend im okay
