Half Moon, Full Heart

A Lesson in Living

Half Moon, Full Heart

CHAPTER FOUR

A Lesson in Living

Delores died two weeks later.

It was only fitting,

that by Independence day, David was gone from Rachel’s life. He was gone from her life, but not the thoughts that plagued and haunted her. She felt abandoned; a failure; rejected by a man to whom she had given her heart.

Despite insisting he wasn’t baling out because of the cancer, David made it clear he felt cheated—robbed of a “whole wife.” It was astonishing. The fact he actually used the words: “whole wife.”

 It was clear to Rachel, that the moment David heard the news, he was not prepared to provide the love, care and emotional support she would need. From the moment she told him, Rachel sensed his primary concern, if not sole concern, was for himself, not her.

 Even so, she found herself making allowances for his reaction. In her solitude, she found herself searching for the slightest glimmer of reason to forgive David his insensitivity. But there his word were, reverberating in her consciousness and subconsciousness.

“One only has one life,” he had said, pointedly. “It’s not right I should have to settle for less than my ideal mate. Why can’t you just...try another way? If it doesn’t work, you can always remove your breast, if you decide there’s no other way.”

 The divorce was quick. Neither were required to make court appearances. A cadre of lawyers worked out the details. David wished Rachel well and assured her the financial settlement would be generous.

He offered her money and materiel, in an effort to salve his conscience. He also assured Rachel the prenuptial agreement she signed in happier times—without consulting a lawyer—would be generously modified.

David even offered to buy Rachel a new car. Any model she wanted. She would keep the South Pasadena home; he would retain his Palisades Estate. The overall package would include a single, tax-free settlement of five million dollars, and a monthly alimony payment of fifteen thousand dollars.

 Rachel’s first reaction, born out of anger and pride, was to tell him to stuff the pre-nup and his money. She was persuaded by a close friend, former Los Angeles Times writer, Carol Sumner, to set aside her pride and take the money. Either that or hire a lawyer and take David for even more than a mere fraction of his estimated, two-hundred million dollar net worth. Rachel refused the latter and opted for the former. 

Less than a week after the final divorce decree, Rachel found herself battling still another rejection. This one came by mail. Rachel’s literary agent and longtime friend, Alexis Dendi, informed her that after thirty editor rejections, she was giving up on trying to find a publisher for her first novel, ‘Still A Rose.’

 Alexis was a noted literary agent and friend of David’s, whom Rachel met in 1992 at a Christmas party at Alexis’ home in Beverly Hills. She read and fell in love with Rachel’s writing. She all but pleaded with Rachel to allow her to represent the novel.

It wasn’t so much the rejection by publishers that cut Rachel so deeply, but the rejection of her friend—a friend who opted to send her a letter, rather than call or meet with her to deliver the bad news. Now after two years, and a wall covered with terse rejection slips, this faceless kiss-off.

 Three days later, it was a reluctant, haggard Rachel who answered her phone and heard Dr. Lombard’s voice on the other end. He sounded upbeat, yet reserved. He asked how soon she could come to his office. The fact he called, rather than his secretary, gave her pause.

 When Rachel hesitated, he insisted she come as soon as possible— like immediately. When she arrived at Huntington, she was taken to a large conference room, rather than to Dr. Lombard’s office. Within minutes, she was met by Dr. Lombard; Dr. Steven Cooley, her oncologist; and Dr. Malinda Granger, a staff psychologist.

Dr. Lombard was deeply concerned by his patient’s physical appearance, despite her application of makeup and smart dress. He wasted no time. Rachel was cancer free. She never had cancer. Her breast cancer diagnosis was an error—“a grievous lab error,” he said. His calmly spoken words resonated in her ears, but a stunned Rachel had no immediate reaction.

She was numb, shocked by the news, unable to react or speak. It was only after Dr. Cooley asked if she understood what they were telling her, that Rachel cupped both hands to her face and sobbed.

 It took nearly a half hour, before Rachel was calm enough to be told the details of the error. Early on, Dr. Cooley had done a complete family history and discovered no breast cancer in her family. However, that was only one factor, and not determinative. The biopsy and lab results were powerful evidence.

 It turned out, the lab analyzing the biopsy specimen confused it with that of another patient. But the awful damage done was immeasurable, especially the psychological damage. No amount of apologies and expressions of regret could erase the effect such an emotional wrecking ball leaves on a woman’s psychological construct.

For weeks, even after the revised diagnosis, and a second follow-up biopsy that reconfirmed she was completely free of any cancer, Rachel suffered what she knew was severe depression.She couldn’t work; couldn’t write; stopped eating. She became fatalistic, suicidal, and had even attempted to end her life.

If there was one redeeming aspect of the entire trauma, it was that while at Huntington, Rachel met a thirty-eight year old woman undergoing treatment for breast cancer. They were the same age, born less than a month apart.

Delores Washington epitomized courage. Despite her advanced cancer, she offered Rachel encouragement, strength and prayer. Rachel marveled that Delores was—against all the diagnostic evidence—convinced her faith would see her through. 

She spoke lovingly of Earl, her husband of twenty-one years; their three sons: Jason, Keith and Lamont. Delores vowed to see her boys become men. She dreamed of daughters-in-law and grandchildren.

Delores died two weeks later. Rachel attended the funeral. She was amazed and uplifted to find it a celebration of life, rather than mourning of a death. The experience made her embarrassed for having indulged in even a moment of self-pity.

Chapter Five coming next