Collisions

Chapter 1

C= italics K= bold

The world seems so peaceful. There are two kids outside playing and the sun is shining. The temperature was perfect for tank tops and shorts. It was finally the time of year that I'd been waiting for. Spring on the verge of summer weather. School was out in less than six weeks and then summer would arrive. The school marching bands would hold afternoon and evening rehearsals. The track and field team will be out running about preparing for competitions. Heck it was baseball season! But something seemed off. Something has been off since fall turned to winter.

I couldn't quite place that feeling of what was wrong, but there was something. Something that just didn't feel right. I jumped in my car and shook off the feeling. Walking through the band room door, I went to our section corner. Honestly, I was in the mood to mess with some freshies. They didn't know anything so why not mess with them a bit. I came extremely early just for this reason. When the freshman walked in, I'd have a few surprises waiting for them. Maybe I could just forget about this weird, out of place feeling and set some pranks with my best bro. 

And yet, after watching the first freshman (and a couple sophomores, too) I feel the same exact way. This strange feeling in my chest like a giant weight  has settled on my chest and began suffocating me. I feel as if I was slowing drowning in my own self awareness. Maybe I was possibly over assessing the situation and should seriously calm down but I can't shake it. The feeling that I am pointlessly going in circles with my life having no real purpose. This is when Jamie, my best friend, would say 'Ed, you have got to chill and take a breather or else you will literally explode from the tension in that head of yours.' That's exactly what I need to hear too. And I mean outside of my head not inside. Inside I sound absolutely insane.

I searched my brain for any clue as to why I was having this feeling. Sifting through thoughts and memories of the past few weeks, I came up empty. What could it be? I couldn't shake this emptiness in the pit of my stomach. My vision blurred and I cringed. What the hell? The feeling intensified and I blinked, my vision clear once again. I couldn't stand this one moment longer. I needed to know what was causing this feeling. This ache. I knew deep down that I knew the source, but I couldn't accept it.

I kick the band room floor and head to my mello locker and grab my shit before heading to the practice field alone and twenty minutes before the rest of the band. I'll be alone for maybe ten minutes before the seniors come down to set up for visuals. I'm just ready to be done here but I have a little under a year until I'm done. I'll take a year off, give life a new meaning, and heck quit the freaking trombone and mellophone. Yeah that sounds nice really really fucking nice.

I reach the edge of the practice field and approach our section area. I blink for legit one second and then trip over a trash can. My instrument flies from my hands and skids across the pavement. Well damn. Burns is gonna kill me. I think he's tired of fixing my damaged instrument. He might even higher Emmons to drop kick me. Maybe I'll find a way to survive today.