lotus

One

Plunging into a void was not how I planned to spend Tuesday morning. But that's how I spent every morning since I was 14. High school.
'High school. The place where industrial disinfectant met hormonal teenagers, and overpriced shoes met bacteria ridden carpet.' I thought as i shut my rusting locker.

I started down the hallway when- "Eyyy, Evangeline!" A laughing voice came from behind me. I ignored him and kept walking on the cracked linoleum to Algebra 2, as fast as I could without looking like I was running.

"Evvie, why are you running baby girl?" Nolan's voice said, from closer this time. "Evvie."

I could hear him getting more aggressive and I picked up my pace, not wanting to deal with his bullshit. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel reading Mr Holdstra rm 307 before hearing,

"EVANGELINE!" From no less than two inches behind me. I take a deep breath and turn around, tossing a strand of burgundy hair out of my face before meeting his chocolate eyes. Cliché, I know, but there's no other comparison to fit so perfect. His big nostrils were flaring red and his blonde hair was tousled.
"Evvie. Don't ignore me" he growled, voice gravely.

"Or what?" I spat, leaning closer, my black wife beater touching his varsity jacket. "We both know if you so much as touch me I beat your ass, and im not afraid to use weapons, as I'm sure you remember. Stay the hell away from me, Nolan, or I'll tell more than just your coach this time."
I back away and smile, meeting his eyes with mine before the bell rings, and be heads off to first period.
I roll my eyes and yank open the door to Mr. Holdstra's, a blast of heat from his room hitting my face.

"And- oh, nice of you to join us Ms. Matthews. Take a seat." He says sarcasticly, rolling his eyes. I keep my eyes trained to the blue carpet as I head to my seat in the back, feeling a sea of stares on me as I walk. I sit down and look up, and I see people slowly getting disinterested in the girl who showed up late.

"Psst." Jay whispers from my left.
"What." I say without looking, knowing Mr Holdstra's watching my every move. He has this thing about gay people, he's so homophobic, and can't wait to bust me for anything that I do.

"Please, Evvie." My ex whispers desperately. I roll my eyes and look at her cheek, not wanting to make eye contact. Today she's wearing some kind of fishnets with ripped-up-barely-there acid washed Jean shorts and a sleeping with sirens tee shirt, her turquoise hair down, long wavy. I wanted to wind my fingers in it like I used to, take her back right here, right now, but I know I can't.

"For God's sake's Evangeline, won't you even look me in the eyes?"

No, I think as I turn back to my desk again, knowing if I look at her for one more second. I'll burst into tears. No, because if I look into those blue eyes, so many memories will come back, and I won't be able to keep it together anymore. No, because if I look in your eyes it'll make this all real.

I hear her sigh and I open my note book, barely getting the date down before Mr. Holdstra calls my name.
"Yes, sir?" I reply, already knowing what he's going to say. No one looks at me this time really, because it happens every day.
"Is that tank top thick enough? Are you sure it's three fingers?"
"Yes sir," I grit out. "Positive."
He grunts and moves on with the lesson, me taking notes and Jay trying to get my attention constantly.
High school.