It's been three months. Three months since I tried to die. I regret waking up. I'm miserable. Depressed. I wish I would get hit by a car. Something. Anything.
I walk on the street, hoping I get hit. It's foggy. Someone could easily not see me. I hear a faint tire rumbling on the ground. Heres my chance. I stop, and wait. Silently.
I hear the vehicle get closer. I just wait. This is it. I hope I won't come back this time. I hear a screech. Shit. "Hey are you alright?" I hear a soft voice ask. Slam, the car door shuts. "Hey." she says again. "Yes?" I cockily ask. "I said are you alright?" she calmly, but rudely snaps back.
I turn my head half looking at her. "I'm great." I lie. "My names Justice." she said expecting me to answer. "I'm Logan." I reply. I probably shouldn't be so rude, I mean she only failed to hit me with her car.
"What the hell are you doing?" she questioned. "Standing in the middle of the road like an idiot?" she added. "Truthfully.." No. I couldn't say that to a complete stranger. "Day dreaming I guess." I lied.
"Whatever." she rolled her eyes. "Need a ride?" she asked. "Why not." I smile back.
We hop in the car and I tell her my address. She tries to make small talk to break the awkward silence. "So," she started, "do you live alone?" I squirm in my seat. "I live with me parents." I whisper. "Me too." she said with a comforting smile.
We talk on and on about our home lives and interests until we pull into my drive way. "Well," she sighed, "this is goodbye." I sadly smile. "I guess so." I'm walking up my driveway when "Hey, wait!" she says. "Yeah?" I ask. She jumps out and hands me her phone. "I really like talking to you."
I type in my number and wave goodbye. "Thanks by the way, for the ride." I yell. "No problem." she yells back.
For the next few days I thought about a lot. How I could open up to her, how she made me feel, like I could trust her with anything. I waited for her text.
j- hey
l- hey, do you wanna hang out tonight
j- sure where and when
l- my house at 8, we can watch a movie or something
j- cool, see you later :)
I got super nervous and jittery. I had an hour to get ready. I clean up the house and take a shower. I look at the clock and it's 7:55. I sit and wait. My heart was pounding in my throat. Why am I so nervous?
I hear a knock and the door and jump up in surprise. I try to act natural so I rest my arm on the door frame and open it. My arm slips and I crash to the floor. She giggles and my face goes red. "Need some help?" she taunts. "No thanks" I say with a bright face as I get back on my feet.
"Welcome to my humble home" I joke. She giggles again and I can't help but smile. "Logan is this that girl you've been talking about." my mom chants as she approaches us. Once again my face goes red. "My names justice, nice to meet you Mrs. Lerman." she politely introduces. "Ms." my mom corrects her with a fake smile. "I'm sorry." Justice says softly.
"We're gonna go hang out in my room." I change the subject. "Ok have fun." my mom jokes.
"I like your mom." she smiles as she fiddles with items in my room. "Yeah sometimes she can be a bit-" "Sweet." she cuts me off. "I was gonna say pesty and irritating." We both laugh.
"So, where are your movies?" she asks nosing through my room. "Yeah over in that bin." I point. After a while of her searching she pulls one out. "Oooo I love this movie." I look over her shoulder to see the breakfast club. "Breakfast club it is." I smile.
I put in the movie and went to get popcorn. I place it in the microwave and hit start. "Yes?" I question my mom standing next to me impatiently. "Is she your girlfriend?" My mom asked. "No mom." I answer annoyed. "Okaaaay." she says sarcastically. "Please go away." I ask nicely. "Whatever." she laughs.
I walk back in the room with popcorn, the previews already halfway over. "Give me some of that." she giggles.
As I sat down on the bed, she pulled the popcorn out of my hands. She shoved a handful laughing and slightly choking. "Where are your manners?" I jokingly give a surprised look. She shrugs with a laugh, "Who knows?"
As we're watching the movie she looks over at me. "Can I ask you something?" she looks serious. "Shoot." I reply. "What happened to your dad?" My mind went blank and everything froze. I felt tears start to collect in my eyes. "He died of cancer 5 months ago." I
stutter.
"I'm sorry." she said regretting her question. She pulls me in and hugs me. "I shouldn't have asked, I'm really sorry." she smelled like roses. "It's ok, I just never really talked about it before." I say awkwardly.
About an hour into the movie I caught myself staring at her. I've never seen someone so perfect. Everything about her drove me crazy. She looked over and smiled. "Staring isn't nice, Logan." she giggles. "I am not staring." I lie. "mhm." she laughs.
The movie ended and she had to leave. I walk her to the door and smile. "Bye Justice." she smiles back. "Goodbye." For some reason I couldn't shut the door. I wanted to kiss her, but I couldn't. I shut the door and went to my room. My bed still smelled of her rosy scent. I laid down and quickly fell asleep.
