Recording Life

2. Wonder

I wonder if you wonder any more

Not about the past, not about the future, not even about me like I'd hope.
I'm just curious as to whether or not you even wonder about anything.

Simply put, I'm supposed to be free of this question by now. It's been over ten years since I stopped wondering, but it was you who made me start again.

Now why is that?

Did you make me wonder because you wanted me to, or because you needed me to.
Did I wonder because I was enthralled by you, or because I was in love with you?
Do I still wonder because I want to understand you, or because I want to say goodbye to you.

Do you make me wonder about you, just so you can show me why I should stop wandering?
Why I should stop trying?
Should I try and make things up to you?
Should I try and find a new love, for you?
Should I give up on you, and just leave you here with the next person to fall for your tricks?

I wonder....

I wonder if I should stay and live through you, or if I should take this opportunity to find one that's new.

You stood beside me for so long, making me believe you were leading me to your heart.... but maybe it's time I ended things with you.

You were my first love, my first friend, my first enemy, and my first heartbreak.
And the sad part is no one else sees the real you, but me.

So I'll wonder once more, and I hope I get an answer.

I wonder if I should wander away from you
I wonder if I should try something new
I wonder if you are really worth the fight

... and I wonder, if here and now, I should get rid of you......

my life