You Find Me Married

It's been two years. Two long years since John has received any word from his Alexander. He curses the day General Washington called his lover back to fight again. He begged Alexander to stay, not to fight another deadly battle on the front lines. The day Alexander left was forever burned in his memory.
~

"My Dearest, Laurens, this is a direct order from the general. You know as well as I do that I cannot defy Washington's orders." Alexander now stood over the shorter man in front of him. His rough hand cupped John's cheek as a tear began to fall.
"My Alexander, please. I fear if you leave once again I will no longer know your presence by my side. There will only be a ghost of what once was of you. I will know only a legacy." Alexander traced John's freckles with his eyes. He knew he might not come back, Washington wanted him in the front lines. Alexander wiped away yet another tear off of John's face. His John, the John who consumes his every thought at every time of the day. The John who makes him feel alive.
"GODDAMMIT ALEXANDER! I left Washington's army so we would not have to part like this. So neither of us would have to feel the pain of death herself with the price of the other. So I would not leave you alone as you are leaving me." John's words began to grow quieter with every sentence. His heart getting heavier with every breath.

Alexander froze, John has never yelled at him. Yes, Alexander has seen John get angry but it was for him not at him. For once he did not know how to react. Alexander's grip on his duffle bag grew tighter. John pulled his face away from Alexander's touch. The touch that hardened with every letter on paper and every gun fired. The touch John grew to love but couldn't stand at the moment. Then he simply walked away. He walked away from Alexander and his worries. He didn't realize that when Alexander walked out of his front door he wouldn't see his Alexander ever again.
~

Two long years filled with tears and dread. John held the letter Washington sent him a year ago. A tear stained letter telling him of the disappearance of one Alexander Hamilton. Alexander had gone MIA March 26th on the front line during the battle of Carolina. There was absolutely no trace of the soldier John kept dear in his heart. His friends, Hercules and Lafayette, tried their best to help him cope. Nothing seemed to work.

Out of the blue John Laurens snapped. He couldn't take looking at the place he and Alexander were the happiest any longer. He needed to get away from it all. All of the memories, all of the reminders, everything. John packed his bags and set off to New Jersey. It was close to his home in New York but it was away from everything he needed to run from. John left in the middle of the night, not breathing a word of his trip to anyone. He had no idea of how long he would be staying for or where he would be staying. He just needed to go. Around two in the morning John made it to a small inn. He paid the workers the money owed and slept the night away.

The next day John went out he stopped at a local coffee shop to start his morning. Both Alexander and John were not the same men without their cup of morning coffee. John looked at his cup and sighed deeply. Oh how he missed his Alexander. John missed his rough hands touching every small freckle he could find. He missed the restless night Alexander had when he was writing yet another address for Washington. Washington, the one who took everything away. John didn't hate George Washington, not anymore at least. There was hate at one point but John soon realized that hating Washington was not going to bring Alexander back. John set his cup of coffee back on the table in front of him.

"Excuse me, Sir. Is this seat taken? You look as if you could use a companion with a good ear." John looked up and was glad he set his coffee cup down previously. His jaw dropped as fast as his heart. John could not believe what he was seeing. He even blinked a few times to make sure it wasn't a dream. He wanted to slap himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming but quickly realized how foolish he would look if he were to do so.

"A-Alexander?" The man's smile slowly dropped.

"How do you know my name, Sir?" John could not believe what he was hearing. Was Alexander playing some sick trick on him. Was he hiding from John for two years and now that they meet once again Alexander pretend to have no memory of his lover.

"Alexander please end this sick joke. It is I, John Laurens. Your John Laurens." Alexander shook his head.

"I am truly sorry, I have no memory of you." Alexander sat in front of John. "To be completely honest I have no memory past two years ago. Do you know me Mr. Laurens?" John couldn't believe his ears as his heart sank even deeper. Tears began to form as John hid his face from Alexander. The man he's cried over for two years no longer remembers him.

"I'm sorry to upset you Mr.Laurens. I seem to be of great importance to you. Am I wrong?" John shook his head and wiped his eyes free of tears. After a deep breath John began to speak.

"You were my whole life, Alexander Hamilton. You were my Alexander and no one elses. You were-. You consumed every thought, every fiber of my being. Alexander you were my second in life and I yours." John's voice began to break. His heart could not take much more suffering.

"Oh John I am so sorry." Alexander hung his head in sorrow.

"Are you my Alexander?" John feared the answer to this very simple question. This answer could either kill John or bring him back to life. Alexander clutched his hand tightly on his lap. He knew the weight of the answer he was about to give.

"I'm sorry John. No, I am no longer your Alexander. I am married and she is with child. A baby boy we are naming Phillip. Her name is Eliza, I love her dearly." John could feel tears dripping down his face.

"I love you, my Alexander." Alexander could tell John was no longer talking to him, but to the Alexander who died on the battle field two years ago. This Alexander was born on that same field knowing nothing but the name on his dog tags. Eliza found him stranded, the two fell in love and soon began a family.

John got up from his seat and headed for the exit. Alexander was only a few paces behind him. The two split at the door. John headed to his car as Alexander did the same. Once Alexander entered his car he was welcomed by his wife who was in no hurry to go anywhere knowing Alexander's habit of talking to strangers.

"Oh who was that dear?" Alexander rubbed Eliza's belly and started the car.

"An old friend by the name of John Laurens." Eliza smiled and rubbed her own belly, completely lost in the idea of Alexander. She nodded her head and closed her eyes to return to the name she was once in. Alexander looked the the ring on Eliza's hand. It was in his pocket when Eliza found him. 'A ring fit for a small man more then a woman' she would always say. Maybe.

John drove away. Running away was something John was always good at. With his Alexander gone John had nothing left. His heart was brutally ripped from his chest and carelessly thrown away. His Alexander was dead and so was he. John pulled up at a small bridge he didn't bother getting the name of. He looked over the edge at the clean blue water. Blue. Alexander favorite color was blue. John wondered if it still was blue. The small man slipped his hand in his shirt and pulled out a pair of dog tags belonging to one deceased Alexander Hamilton. Attached to the tags was a ring with a small sapphire in the center. Inside read 'My Dearest, Hamilton'. John gripped the jewelry and sighed one last heavy sigh.

"Goodbye my dearest, Alexander."

Notes:

Ahhh so this is my first sad fic. Thanks for reading and if I messed anything up feel free to tell me. I hope you enjoyed it.