Anxiety // Alternate Ending // Jakob Delgado

41. | 1 week after

new ending of chapter 40:

"Jakob, no!" I plead, standing up like I could actually do anything about this. The beeping is getting louder and more urgent but I'm unable to move. "Please. I love you."

My last words came out as a whisper. Then his hand grips mine back and his eyes flutter open.

Hailey:

I'm not allowed in but I can see through the blinds. Jakob is awake. He's sitting up and he's talking to the doctors. I'm unable to do anything but just stare at him. He doesn't even know I'm here. My phone goes off and it takes everything I have to tear away my gaze away to check it.

Mikaila: is he okay? We're half an hour away.

Hailey: he's awake but I haven't seen him.

I put my phone back in my pocket and go back to staring. My heartbeat quickens as a nurse starts walking towards the door. I'm sort of frozen, my mouth slightly open and a blank but scared look on my face. I'm not sure what to feel.

"You can come in now. We'll give you some time." The nurse tells me. I nod and force myself to move, following her inside the room. As soon as I'm inside the door, the doctors start filing out. Then I'm left alone.

"Oh my god, Jakob." I breathe, walking quickly over to where he's sitting.

"Hailey?" Jakob asks tiredly. His bed has been sat up, his body relying on it for support.

"You look... Damaged." I decide, moving the chair to sit by his bed. He holds my hand and looks at them. Then his eyes start to move and he realises something.

"My.. My arms. Hailey. My arms." He starts to freak out, letting go of my hand. He's breathing in shallow breaths looking down at his exposed arms.

"Jake, it's okay." I soothe, knowing it's not working at all.

"They've seen them; they've seen them all. You can see them, my family have seen them." Jakob continues, pulling the hospital sheets up over his bare arms.

"Jakob," I try a different approach, placing my hand around his arm. He stops and looks straight at me, the fear in his eyes piercing into mine. "Stop. I can help."

"How can you help?" He asks, his eyes filling with tears. My heart is breaking for him.

"Just stay still." I order as I slowly pull the sheet back, exposing his arms again. I lean over to the side table and pick up the small pile of bracelets.

One by one, I tie them around his wrists as he waits, avoiding all of the drips and needles. I don't mention that the doctors will take them off again shortly but he doesn't seem to realise. He noticeably calms down once they are on him.

"Are my family coming?" Jakob asks. I take his hand again and sit down.

"They'll be here soon." I reply. He looks away.

"How long do you think I'll be in here?" His voice quietens further.

"I don't know."

I'm not sure what to say or what to think. Should I tell him I know what this really is? Would that freak him out? Probably. I decide against it.

"Are my family okay?" Jakob asks. My eye happens to catch movement outside of the room and I see Mikaila.

"Why don't you see for yourself?"

I stand up, let go of his hand and step away. We both look to the now open door. His parents rush to him but Mikaila rushes to me, wrapping me up in a tight hug. She apologises for not being here straight away and I tell her it's okay. Then we pull away. I'm about to leave the room to give them some space and I'm half way in doing so when Jakob speaks up.

"Hailey," he says, "don't go."

I look from him to Leanne, to Leo and Mikaila and back again. They're all looking at me, their expressions agreeing with Jakob. I smile half heartedly and walk back over but stay at the end of the bed. A heavy weight rests in my chest as I stand there, my hand on Jakob's foot as he talks to his family. Leanne kisses his forehead a lot, Leo telling him he's proud of him. Mikaila is looking at his arms then looks at me. I stare back with a sad expression. I look away before Jakob notices anything.

•••

We stayed until visiting hours were over. Now I'm at the Delgado's house with Mum, having dinner. Jakob won't be coming home for another week at least, depending on how long it takes him to recover. The doctors are hopeful that he will make a full one and that he won't fall back into another coma. I can't wait until 9:00am tomorrow morning when I can go back and see him. It's like every moment I can get with him now will be even more precious.

"Hailey, have you told Chris yet?" Mum asks me from across the table. Then I remember I haven't. It must have completely slipped my mind.

"No."

"Well, it's getting late and we should get going." She sighs, standing up.

"I can drive you to his house if you want to tell him now. I'll get her back within the hour, I promise." Mikaila suddenly offers, turning to my Mum at the end.

"Can I go?" I turn to her myself.

"Only if you're back within the hour." Mum nods. I smile at her before turning to Mikaila again.

"Let's get going then." She announces, standing up herself.

"Let's get going."

Within five minutes I'm in Mikaila's car  and we're driving down the road. The sky is dark and the lights aren't making much of a difference. Then she speaks.

"I wanted to get some time alone with you so we could talk."

"What about?" I ask but I already know the answer.

"What does everyone ever talk about nowadays? Jakob. Do you really think this was another suicide attempt?" Mikaila asks. I stay silent for a couple of seconds, thinking out my answer.

"I do. Everything just matches up and I can feel it."

"Do you think he could try again? Like, when he gets home." She continues, more hesitant now.

"We can't tell him we know." I tell her.

"Why not?"

"Because he'll freak out and feel attacked. That's only going to make things worse." I explain softly.

"You have to tell him," Mikaila says, "he could never feel attacked by you."

That's a lot to take on. I don't say anything and neither does she now. We sit in silence for the rest of the short trip to Chris' house.

When we get there, I text him first to make sure he's home. When he replies, I wait on the doorstep for him to come down. I wasn't going to risk ringing the bell and getting into a long talk with his mother. Her talks go on and on and are often hard to get out of. Chris finally opens the door and pulls me in for a hug.

"What's going on?" He asks as he pulls away.

"Jakob woke up today." I smile, instantly getting wrapped up in another hug.

"I told you he'd wake up." Chris says as he picks me up and spins me around.

"Come see him tomorrow." I say as he puts me down. He nods. I'm in such a good mood I don't know if anything could ruin it.

Jakob is awake.