"if you thought that your worth nothing... think again. because if they think your not worth it, look back at me and I'll tell you what your worth." he came a step closer. his camera slowly slipping from his hand. he looked at me, straight into my e...
i hugged her tightly. never wanting to let go of her small soft body. she needs me. and i know that for a fact. she needs a guy to help her out and i know i can be that guy. she doesn't realise that I'm willing to sacrifice my time just for her. she let go. as i look her in the eyes and search for the answer that i most feared at this point. Rejection.
i once again whisper softly into her ears an 'i love you' and she just shook it off. if she thinks that I'm not here for her she should think again. because she's all i ask for.
she ran into the house crying, tears streaming down her face. oh she's more than mad. she's not even pissed off. no words can describe how i feel. and what she feels right now.
A wave of guilt washed over me. what have i done to Bella? Am i even worth it? Is she ever going to understand my feelings for her? Questions roamed around freely, coming in and out.
i ran after her hoping i could catch a glimpse of her one last time. i sure want to be her friend. but at times like this, my heart just skips beats and i feel a million butterflies in my stomach. she's just so precious to me. and she's always worth the risk. Any risk. because i love her. a lot.
Bella's POV
i ran into the rest room and left the door open. Caspar's filming a video for youtube and i don't care where Joe is. not anymore. i just stood there looking at myself in the mirror and just cried. I'm so sick of getting kicked out of cafe's and shops and even restaurants because of Joe. this is it. i have to find out what really is going on. why Joseph is really doing this. even though its for fun. there has to be a real reason why. he'd never hurt me. I've know him long enough that he wouldn't hurt a fly. mainly cuz of his fear. but yeah he wouldn't.
i sat on the floor, cross legged. this is gonna hurt. i really care about Joe but he really went past the line this time. i kind of liked the guy. well not Jordan but his friend that came up to us. he really had a way to get girls. why am i even thinking of this? i think that maybe joe was-. my thoughts were interrupted by some one running up to the rest room. i look up, only to meet Joseph's green eyes.
as he looked down at me. his chest rising up and down. as he entered he sat down next to me. i look away. i can't even look at him the same way. he took a deep breath calming down and just looking at me then down at his shoes. then he had a long hard stare at me. not me, but my eyes. of course I'm still looking away. finally looking back at him.
i let my tense shoulders fall. as a cry escaped my mouth letting a tear out. i breathed in the air. exhaling slowly letting all the negativity flow out. i look away. it hurts knowing that he hasn't changed ever since last year. he was the same person ever since i met him in secondary school. people said we'll date on in life and now look at us. still arguing and not a single drop of love. i wish we could stay for ever as friends.
he took my hand into his. he looked at me as i looked back. a smile grew on his pale face. as i just looked at the ground and back at his eyes. i can't smile. i don't want to. it just hurts. i look at him. "you know you can talk to me? that I'm always here? that I'm never leaving you alone?" he started. "yeah i know! but i honestly don't care! I just don't feel like talking to you. so please leave." i said pointing at the door. "just know. that i won't leave you on your own, no matter what." he reassured and looked at me, almost as if warning me.
he rubbed my hand with his thumb and stood up. later he bent down and kissed my forehead. "i love you" he whispered again. but i didn't care. he left and i just sat there not knowing what to do. till i was startled by Caspar leaning on the door entrance smirking. i look at him in the mirror and as a smile grew on my face i look at him eye to eye.
"what!?" i laughed. "its cute!" a chuckle escaped his mouth. he walked up to where i was sitting and joined me, crossing his legs."what is?" i asked. "that Joe cares about you that much!" he smiled. i look down and my smile slowly turns into a frown. "i don't care" i spat. a silence grew between us. as i wipe my tears Caspar looks at me. "he never cared about anyone as much as you, and i, his roommate have never ever in my life seen some one with such love and passion, towards another." "Fuck off Caspar! i still don't care! now leave me the bloody hell alone!" i spat standing up and leaving myself. i ran to the guest room and sat there. i decided to pack my things. i really am going to take that chance i got! i can't wait to be a star! maybe i can be a millionaire or even in high chances a BILLIONAIRE!! i thought.
suddenly happy vibes flew my blood and my veins started to less hurt. as i placed everything in boxes gently i checked the time zone in Homels Chapel, Redditch. 5pm. Perfect ain't it? i go on FaceTime and hope to god that they would answer. and surely in less than three rings Mam and Gemma smiled.
** "hey mam!"
"hey darling! whats up?"
"not much, just that i landed a CAREER IN THE SOCIAL INDUSTRY!!"
"oh my baby!! how did this hapen."
"i was at a coffee shop until i was offered this once in a life time opportunity! i had to say yes!"
"oh really? were you alone?"
"erm- no i was with-j-Joe" a tear escaped my eyes. i still miss him.
"whats wrong? you've always been bubbly talking about dear old Joseph!"
"uhh- i just had a little conflict with him earlier." i said.
"oh you two alright?"
"mmhm!" i assured.
"congrats Bella!" shouted gemma
"aren't you supposed to be on tour with hazza?" i asked. she's supposed to be on tour with harry by now.
"yeah. it got delayed yesterday!"
"where is he anyway!?" i asked surprisingly cut off by Harry.
"hey! how are ya pumpkin?" harry smiled his British accent showing me a feeling of comfort.
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"I'm good." i said wiping the tears off my face.
"what the- WHAT DID JOE DO?!!" harry spat
"shhhh Harry calm down!"
"okay so whats the news?" Gemma asked while mam and Harry had a quick argument.
"I'm coming to England!" i smiled happily.
"oh thats awesome when! can't wait to see my little angel." mam smiled. "-hey!" harry added.
"oh I'm not actually coming home. I'm going to Wiltshire. so ill be hanging out over at the sugg's."
"take care love!" mam smiled. "bye!" Gemma and harry waved.
"cheers!" i said exiting the app.** i got up and headed to messages only to find an unknown number.
