Where Your True Loyalty Lies [A Brittana Fanfiction]

#7------Guilt

Sounds started to pierce Santana's eardrums. Different beeps and buzzes and dings surrounded her, as well as some low voices. She began to have feeling in her toes and fingers, and she noticed that something was wrapped around her hand. It felt like someone was holding it. She wanted to shift her body a little, but couldn't find the strength to do it, so she attempted to open her eyes.

At first, it was all a blur. Some faded colors came into view, then those colors molded into walls, chairs, and people. The voices she heard before ceased. "She's awake," someone in the farthest corner whispered. She heard some chairs creak as if people got up from them. The something that was wrapped around her hand loosened just a bit and tensed.

Santana's view was now clearing up and she saw familiar, disheveled faces. "San? Santana can you hear me?" said a very familiar voice next to her. Santana figured it was the person holding her hand. "I didn't think the first thing I'd hear would be your voice, Berry," Santana mumbled, a smile creaping on her face.

Rachel smiled so big, that the brightness of her white teeth gleamed and Santana had to close her eyes again. Rachel leaned over the hospital bed and kissed Santana's forehead. "Okay, no need to get sentimental right off the bat, Rach," Santana laughed. 

Santana began to notice everyone who was in her room. She figured that her room was extremely big because pretty much the entire Glee club was there, her mom and dad, Mr. Schue, Coach Sylvester, a bunch of flowers in vases, several medical machines, and a fancy TV on the wall. Everyone was either crying or smiling like Rachel, or both. 

"How long have I been out?" Santana asked groggily. "Almost a week. Don't worry, you haven't missed much," Finn answered. "Well, except me trying to walk, but that didn't really work," Artie added. "Damn, I missed out on making fun of you then," Santana snickered. Artie smiled and rolled over and attempted to hug Santana, which she gratefully accepted.

After everyone had seen Santana, the doctor came in and checked her, making sure everything was okay. Before he left, he said something that left everyone speechless: "It's really a miracle that you're alive, Santana. Most people don't survive a shot like that."

A short silence rested over the room. Santana noticed someone that was missing. The someone that she took the knife and bullet for... "Where's Brittany?" she asked. Everyone looked at each other with a look of guilt? Or was it dread? Santana couldn't figure it out, but she knew something was up.

No one would answer her, so she asked again; "Where's Brit?"

"She thought you were dead, San," Kurt started. "No, Kurt, don't-" Tina interrupted, but Kurt snapped. "We can't keep her from knowing, Tina! Would you do that to me if Blaine did that?!" Tina dropped her head and tears started to form. "Hey, just calm down. Kurt, just tell her what happened," Mr. Schue stepped in.

Kurt nodded and walked to the side of Santana's bed that wasn't being occupied by Rachel, who was starting to tear up as well. Kurt took Santana's hand into his and stared into her eyes and began the story.

"San, Brit thought you were dead. She kept going on about how it was her fault that you were dead, that she was the reason you were dead. She...she said she couldn't live with what she did to you. She...she said that you were the true love of her life and she couldn't live without you..." Kurt started to cry now.

Santana looked around the room and everyone had tear-stained faces already, especially Sam. She looked back at Kurt and tried to figure out what had happened. "Kurt...what happened to her..." Santana questioned. "She...she..." It hit Santana like a ton of bricks. Brittany, the love of her life, committed suicide. Santana's eyes grew red and her voice grew horse.

"No...no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!" she screamed. "Santana, listen, she's okay-" "Of course she's okay now! She's dead!" she wretched. "No, no, no, San, wait. She's not-"

"Not what!" Santana sobbed. "I found her before it was too late," Coach Sylvester piped in. Santana looked toward her cheerleading coach with a confused expression. "It was the day after you were shot. I didn't know about it yet, so I kept saying things at practice that obiviously put Brittany off more than she already was. So, after practice, I went into the locker room to get my clipboard, and saw her...sitting there with a knife on the floor next to her...it looked like she had just done it, because when she saw me, she yelled at me to get out and leave her alone."

Santana droned out everything else Coach Sylvester said and tried to piece everything together. "Where is she?" Santana interrupted. No one seemed to gather what she asked. "Where is Brittany!!" she shouted. "She's in the psychiatric ward. She doesn't want to see or talk to anyone," Blaine answered.

"I want to see her now," Santana announced. "You're not going anywhere! You just woke up and you're still badly hurt!" Santana's mom yelled. "But mamma! I need to tell her that I'm okay!! She's not okay and I can't leave her to think that I'm dead!" Santana retailiated. "Mrs. Lopez," Mr. Schue interjected, "maybe it can help. I mean, I know San just woke up, but Brittany is mentally unstable-" "That may be so, but my daughter is physically unstable and shouldn't be walking around just yet!" Mrs. Lopez answered.

"Is everything okay in here?" the doctor asked, coming into the room. "Yes, everything is fine. My daughter is just trying to get her way out of this room so she can see her friend in the psychiatric facility-" "You mean, Miss Brittany?" the doctor interrupted.

"Is she okay?" Santana asked eagerly. "No, well, not entirely. She hasn't been able to sleep since she got here, and she keeps going on about you," the doctor answered her. "Can I please see her?" Santana pleaded. The doctor took a moment to consider her request. 

"Santana, you've been badly hurt. I'm afraid that you might reopen your wounds or pass out..." the doctor stopped, looking around the room at the expressions on everyone's faces. "...but, seeing as Miss Brittany is one of the worst cases I've seen in a teenage girl, I think that it would be beneficial for the both of you. I'll get you a wheelchair," the doctor said with a smile and walked out of the room to fetch Santana a wheelchair.

Everyone in the room was beaming, with the exception of Mrs. Lopez. A nurse came in with the wheelchair and helped Santana out of the bed and into the chair. The nurse got Santana situated with all the machines that were attached to her and attached them to the chair.

"I want Kurt and Quinn to come with me," Santana said before the nurse rolled her out of the room. Kurt and Quinn looked at each other and smiled. They followed where the nurse wheeled Santana. It took about ten minutes to get to the psychiatric part of the hospital. 

They stopped outside a room with no windows and a metal door. "I can wheel myself in," Santana mumbled. "Are you sure?" the nurse asked. "Yes, I'm fine," Santana answered. "And we'll be with her the whole time," Quinn piped in. "Okay. If you need anything, I'll be down the hall," the nurse said.

"Are you ready for this San?" Kurt asked. She nodded. "We'll be right outside the door," Quinn said, putting a hand on Santana's shoulder. Santana flinched because Quinn put her hand on her bullet wound. "Oh, sorry San," Quinn apologized. "Don't worry. Just open the door for me," Santana said.

Quinn took hold of the handle and turned. Santana wheeled into the dark room. Her eyes adjusted to see a figure laying on a bed. It seemed as though the figure's wrists were heavily bandaged. The figure's arms were secured down so that they couldn't move. The figure mumbled something that Santana couldn't hear. 

"I said GET OUT!" Brittany screamed. Santana almost started sobbing. Brittany didn't sound like her natural bubbly self. She sounded almost derranged and...broken. "Brit...look at me," Santana mumbled. 

Santana saw Brittany's eyes grow wide and she slowly turned her head around to see what called her name. Brittany couldn't believe what she saw. "You're just a ghost. You're not really there..." Brittany mumbled. "Brit...it's me...I'm really here."