Passion's Instinct

Sixty Seven

Hayden

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, DADDY! GUESS WHAT?!"

I rolled over in bed that morning, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Natalie was gone, on a trip to film a scene in her new movie. I was home alone, with the kids and the dogs.

Home.

Alone.

With the kids.

And the dogs.

Single dad role for a week, here we go...

"What?" I mumbled, sitting up and throwing the sheets off of me, just to hear giggling under them.

I turned around as Sawyer threw the sheets off of his head. "I'm going to be eight in fourteen days!"

"Yeah." I sat there for a minute, trying to think of anything particularly really special about that birthday.

"That means I can watch Revenge of the Sith then! Can that be my birthday present?" he asked excitedly, looking up at me.

"Hm. We'll see," I said, standing up and stretching. I dug in the closet for a shirt.

"Can you tell me what that black stuff means again?"

"What black stuff?" I asked, turning to him.

He got up and ran over to me, pointing to my side where my tattoo was. "Oh, my tattoo? It's a list of your birthday dates."

"Oh. Cool!" Sawyer said. He beamed and ran out of the room, sending a whoosh of air past me.

I laughed to myself as I pulled a clean shirt out of the closet, slipping it over my head. I was laughing then, but I knew later that taking on Natalie's job was going to be a big deal.

I wouldn't be laughing later.

**********************************

"Okay, Sawyer, we have to go to your hockey practice, so get your jersey and everything on," I said, helping August pull on his coat and shoes.

"I don't want to go!" he yelled from the top of the stairs.

I turned to look at him, confused. "What? Why not?"

"Because! Matthew is rude to me and always tries to push me and stuff."

I laughed a little, taking Temple's coat and hat off the rack. "Buddy, that's hockey for you. People push you and shove you when you get in their way, and that's the sport."

"Well I don't like it!" he said, frowning.

I took in a sharp breath as my heartbeat slowed. "What did you say?" I asked slowly, and as calmly as I could.

"I hate hockey! I just want to stay home and read!"

I gritted my teeth, trying to summon a little sympathy. I had been training him for hockey so eventually, he would be able to compete for real. Natalie always told me I was too hard on him about it, but all I wanted was another hockey player, and I thought Sawyer would be the one to do it.

I guess it was either Temple or August, now.

But Temple really had an interest in tennis and soccer, and August wasn't old enough yet to do anything. I guess I just had to accept the fact that Sawyer would never be a sports person. He inherited Natalie's smart and academic genes.

I sighed, shaking my head. "Please, buddy, just one more practice. We'll call it quits for the season after that."

"No!" he begged, his face pleading. "I really don't want to go!"

I hesitated, looking at Temple and August, who were both already fully dressed to leave. I wanted to just go anyway, because you weren't always supposed to give kids their way... but this was something I couldn't force Sawyer to do. After all, it was just a rec sport and could be quit easily. It wasn't that big of a deal.

But my hockey kid...

I had faith in August. Or...

Maybe I just had to let it go.

I shook my head, breathing out. "Okay, Sawyer. You can stay home."

"Thank you, Daddy!"

"Of course. But you still need to get your coat and everything on for the grocery store."

"Okay!"

I smiled to myself, shaking my head again. Now, off to another adventure. The grocery store.

My enemy.

**********************************

As I pushed the shopping cart down the last aisle of the grocery store with all of the kids sitting in it, I tried to search for the last items on the list Natalie gave me, scavenging.

I was fed up with the grocery store.

I'd done my time shopping myself, when I was just nineteen years old and living in a house of my own. But since then I've gotten married, had kids, and moved to where a different grocery store was with a different setup. I was a husband, and husbands don't to grocery shopping.

Unless it's urgent.

Everything was so hard to keep track of! Where each item was, every coupon you have to use, every last aisle you had to scan...

Too much. It was too much.

"Daddy! Can we get ice cream this time?" Temple asked, looking through all of the reusable bags that sat around her in the cart.

"Temple, I told you, we don't have a coupon for it and the kind you like is six dollars a carton. And please leave the food alone, you can look through it when we get home and unload it."

She slumped, whining. "Daddy!"

"What?" I asked, scanning the shelves for two bags of chips I had a coupon for.

"I want ice cream, though!"

"Babe, Mommy get it almost every week. It's okay if we miss one this time."

Before she could say anything else, August threw his bottle across the floor and screamed, gaining us a few stares from some people around us.

"Thanks, August," I muttered, leaning down and picking up his bottle, brushing it off. I put it back in the cart where he couldn't reach it and kept moving, determined to get to the check out and leave.

I was pretty excited for Natalie to come back. And I was ready to thank her for everything she always did. I didn't realize what a burden she always had on herself.

And dang, was I grateful for it.