2 People

I think about two people a lot. My sissy. My crush.

My crush is a pain in the ass... :) but that is what I have to deal with... when someone does not love me back.

My sissy is my shoulder to lay on.

Hah. Well... There is important people, the people I love. I love my family, but I also Love... well..... 2. People.

I have known them only since 2015. I am in love with them though, but it is 2 different kind of loves. They both make me feel this spark in my soul... BUT, I am love with sissy as family and friend. I am in love with crush as... WELL, a crush I guess. It does not matter. What matters is they are both on my mind when I think about people... then there IS one other. But that may be a whole different story... not to tell for many more years to come.

Crush, I knew him a little it before I knew Sissy. It all started in my middle school in math class. Hah, math... weird because I hate math with a passion. Anyways, the first few weeks it was just some awkward staring and looking away with each other. Then the next month I was sitting at the same table as him... we made great conversation, but it was mostly him who talked, then me... well, I just laughed at his jokes, smiled, and looked into his beauty brown eyes.

Just a few more weeks later... We actually started to flirt with each other. The next month... he asked me out. Now, I know you want the corny details so, here...

I found out they both liked me... oh yeah... I forgot. This guy named Zee was crushing on me as well. So this was the first time this ever happened to me with me knowing so, I immediately... BRILLIANTLY said, "Umm, so I know you guys like me. How about whoever romances me first, dates me." Yeah Just brilliant wasn't I? Anyways they both took on the challenge. (I only liked one of them though.) I was counting on Crush to come to me first. That did not happen. Sadly I had made a mistake. I honestly did not ever really like Zee in that way. Ooops.

It was after drama practice HE showed up. I was so nervous. I walked outside to see... Zee. In his nervous hands were beautiful fall colored flowers. Honestly, I was touched. Then there is almost always that "but" in there. So yeah, but I still had no strong feelings for him.

When I walked inside the school to get my stuff as Zee left... one of Zee "best friends" came up to me. (He was playing the king in Cinderella (the play I was in)). And he did his best to convince me how "wonderful" and how "cool" Zee is. That. Was. Horrible.

Anyhow, Monday, after the weekend, Crush had no flowers in any nervous hands, but he did smile nervously at me. It was truly adorable really. (Since he was trying to act cool). So, word by word he asked me out. First it was in my extra math class. He wrote on a piece of paper the word "Will" on it, and right then and there I knew exactly what he was doing. One, by one, by one, word, by word, by word... then finally he sat next to me and asked the last word of the question I had been waiting for. "Me".

I of course said yes in the middle of him saying it. Then, let's just say he was happy and I was happy. Then at night I went to drama practise... and that's when I heard rumors of Crush from someone I trusted.

The next morning, I broke up with him. I regretted it right after I did it. And I still do today, for the rumors... were not true. Anyways, we still flirted, he walked me to classes, I thought about him constantly. Then something that shredded my hopes of ever being his and him being mine happened.

He found a girl. Cute, an artist, and probably smart. My hopes built up again, for he still flirted with me. When ever he talked about his girlfriend he looked so happy... and that's why I never told him how I still felt about him. I didn't want to hurt him, ruin a happiness he could have with this girl I envied.

We flirted more and more, and I hurt more. And more. Then Christmas break came. But before Christmas break did come I had met Sissy. In P.E. on my first day of shark week ever. Since that day, I do not regret missing the only free swim day I had because Sissy and I would probably have never met. Ever. She slowly became my sissy.

3rd semester smacked me right in the face with new classes. English... with Crush? Nope. History? Nope. Math? Nope. ANYTHING? Nope. Only the lunches. Weeks passed by, and I noticed nothing was going to be the same anymore with Crush. I did not have any classes with sissy either, not even one lunch... then... Oh Yay! I did have P.E., Warrior Time, and Choir with her still. Good.

Oh, I missed him. So much. There was a hug here and there from him. A hi or hello once in awhile, and he started to scare me by sneaking up to me and tickling me. Laughing at me. I laughed... trying to hold on to hope for him and I that was no longer there. I was holding onto an invisible rope. We faded away, I missed him, and for some reason he could not escape my thoughts... I wrote a page about him which he still has not seen. Would it matter?

Sissy was here for me through this hard time. Then Sonica asked me out. In P.E. I didn't know what I was doing, I still hurt inside even with sissy here with me. I wanted to move on, so I said yes. I started to actually like her a lot, that's when she dumped me.

The pain was spiraling up in seconds. No one knew I was dying inside. I hid it, acted like it was all okay when it wasn't. Sissy and I had a sleepover. That's when I spilled my guts out to her, to sissy. That's when we seriously bonded.

It was fun, we had Dr. Pepper, hot Cheetos, and I made breakfast. We talked and shared secrets, and I finally stopped thinking about Crush for a day.

But it all started up again... thinking of him. I tried to have pizza with him, but it never happened. He never said a thing about it. I hurt. I wanted to cry, but refused. No. Then a month later he was single, I was not going to hesitate, I had to get it off my back. I told him. I told him everything. I insisted on having that pizza. He told me neither yes or no that he loved me. He said he would tell me later. Why? Now, I insisted. We still never had that pizza. Then that hurt grew two times more.

The I found out he got a girlfriend. It was not me. Even after I spilled my broken heart out to him, eager for it to be patched up again. Three times more it hurt. Then he brought it up, and laughed as if it were a joke. Four times more it hurt now. He started sitting with me, I thought, hey maybe he does care, but then. HER. His girlfriend with her annoying high pitched voice sat down next to him. He brought HIS GIRLFRIEND IN FRONT OF ME. At lunch. Hey, I get it, you have this girl you like, so obviously you would make her sit with you, right? Well he knew how I felt about him. All I could think is if he has to sit by his annoying little girlfriend, then not near me. I mean common sense right? Five times it hurt more. He still does this today. I'm used to it.

When I am around him, I just feel. So. Sad. Can't he realize this, when I say this stupid excuse of "I'm tired" or "I don't want to talk about it" I mean you are hurting me, all I want is for you to hold me, to say it's okay, to hug and cuddle me like you used to. Not to this other girl. This other girl. Other. Girl.

Now I am writing a short, short book about these two people in my my life. Both important. Both I love. One just... needs to tell me himself either that he loves me and wants to and will hold me, or that he does not love me like this way I do for him. Then one who does her best to keep me from feeling pain as I do for her. They both are people who I can never forget about.

THE END