Re-Finding Steve

Prologue

FALL-Denver

               My Dad stood outside the truck, tapping his boot and having his farmer arms crossed tightly over his chest. I had to admit that it was a bit of an intimidating stance, but so was the building looming behind him.

               Dad tried to have an annoyed scowl plastered across his sun-stained face. He really did, only it lasted for a few seconds at a time before a little amused smirk would start to peak through.

               Oh yeah, he was having a good old time at my expense.

               As he finally broke to just open the darn car door himself, I slammed the lock down. He actually laughed as he pulled out a jingling bunch of metal pieces out of his pocket.

               Oh, right. Keys.

               I pinched my lips unhappily as he unlocked the door. Once the door was open, I could feel the first crispness of fall settling in the air. Coastal Washington never stayed in the summer season very long.

               “Denver, sweetie, we can’t play all day. There are a lot of boxes in the bed of the truck.” Dad said to me as if to a frightened animal. I looked at the tall, large brick building behind him and determined that I was.

               “Aren’t there more classes I can take at the Community College?” I asked, well more like pleaded.

               “You know better than I that there aren’t. Come on, isn’t it your dream to be a physical therapist? So you can help people like Salem?” My Dad argued.

               Darn him, he was good. Using the tug on my own heartstrings to get me out of the car.

               “You just want your truck all to yourself.” I whined, yet it was in a teasing manner. This caused the tension to snap as my Dad let out a hearty laugh. I felt my own lips splitting into a grin as I unbuckled the seatbelt.

               Before Dad could recover from his laughing fit, I launched myself at him for a tackle. I wrapped my arms around his waist as his went around my shoulders. No one ever grows too old for a Daddy’s hug.

               “It’s fine. You’ll do great and come home in no time. You’ll get a job at the local hospital and be back to watching over this old fart before you know it.” Dad comforted, his face burying in my dark brown hair. He always said I had my Mama’s hair, but his ‘muddy grass’ hazel eyes.

               I slowly let go as I give him a watery smile. Yeah, it seems I was a University student now.

SUMMER-Steve 

               Director Fury was not happy. That isn’t saying he ever really was, but today seemed to be a lot worse than most. I could see him standing outside my exam room, just letting the poor Doctor have it. I felt myself cringe as I heard pieces of what he was saying. People these days sure liked to use such harsh vocabulary. Finally, he got to something understandable.

               “Doctor, do you or do you not know what’s wrong with him?” Fury said in his scarily calm voice. I looked outside to see them both looking back at me. That wasn’t a good sign. The Doctor nodded his head yes before gesturing the Director away to discuss it in a more private away.

               It’s only been about two years since I got out of that ice. Two years since I officially joined the twenty first century. In those two years, all I’ve known was missions and battle and fighting and violence. That’s what I was good at, being the soldier America needed. That’s what I was made to do.

               But I was breaking. I noticed the first signs a few, short months ago. During a monthly check up, it seemed that I had lost a few inches in height. Same with around my arms and legs. I was getting… smaller. Then came the shortness of breath I remembered from my childhood. I had asthma again. Soon my health started plunging into a nose dive.

               Now, here I find myself in an exam room staring at my reflection cast by the window. No longer was I Captain America. I was once again just Steve. I was thin, my arms no thicker than a tee ball bat. I was short, no longer standing proud at over six feet, but around mid-five feet. My skin seemed pale, like I’d been sick, and my face slightly hollowed from stress.

               I was just Steve again. Sandy blonde hair and blue eyes seemed to be the only thing I shared with Captain America. But I wasn’t him anymore.

               Fury came in while I was deep in thought. Once I noticed him, I stood respectfully at attention. He didn’t have to say a thing. His face said it all. This was permanent. My composure broke as my legs gave out. I fell back against the table, rattling the glass on top.

               “Captain Rogers, is there anything you’ve ever wanted to do? It seems this would be a good opportunity to pursue it.” Fury said. I was thankful to him. How he didn’t say sorry or that it was a real shame they lost the best soldier. No, he treated me the same, with a little amount of well-deserved pity.

               “I want to talk to my team, sir.” I said, picking up my leather jacket that didn’t fit as it should anymore. Fury just nodded his head. I knew I had his respect, no matter if I could win in an arm wrestling fight or not anymore.

               It only took a few hours for the team to assemble. They’d only had small glances of my appearance before I got worse. They deserved to know what was happening.

               The double take Clint gave me as I walked in the door almost had me laughing. His eyes narrowed before widening comically. Natasha followed his gaze, gasping as she connected the dots faster than her fellow agent. Thor was distracted for a while as he was observing a new piece of Tony’s technology.

               “So, the rumors were true. The serum failed.” Natasha said. God, the look of pity in her eyes made me look away. I didn’t need any of it, I had enough for myself.

               “I’m sorry to say, but I seem to have to take a leave of absence for a long duration of time. Possibly permanent.” I couldn’t say I wasn’t an Avenger anymore. If I didn’t say it, then there was always that tiny shard of hope on the horizon that they could ‘fix me’.

               “What you gonna do now then, Cap?” Tony asked. I smiled at him. He wasn’t a man out to give pity. He know the downwards potency of it as well as I.

               “Well, before joining the army, I was considering to go to school.” I said. “Maybe get a degree in art.” I continued.

               “There’s a ton of great school’s around here with art programs.” Bruce said. Just like Tony, he wasn’t judging me. He knew the personal strain of my situation possibly better than anyone else.

               “Actually, I was thinking about getting away. Probably the West Coast.” This instantly caused a smile to spread across Tony’s face.

               “He’s coming over to my side, y’all.” He said in a fake accent, for what reason I wasn’t sure. “Man, you’ll love Cali. The sun, the beaches, the girls!” He said, winking on the last one.

               “Not to be rude, but I think I may go to another state. I just can’t handle anything that reminds me of what I used to be. That includes being near the Avengers’. It won’t be long, just half a year or so. I need to find time to find Steve again.” I said, not making eye contact.

               “Where will you go then?” Thor asked.

               “Well, there’s this one school in Washington…” I started to explain.