The Blame is on Him

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Trigger warning: depression, self harm, and suicide.
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  I've known him for three years now. I talk with him every day. Nobody understands why I don't stop. I just don't. I haven't gone a day since I met him without talking to him. I see him all the time. In my dreams, in my head. Never once have I met him in person but, what he does to me through just talking is worse than anything. I never told him this though, I just let him feed off of my self hatred and guilt. I let him tell me I'm wrong for feeling this way, then I let him make me feel worse. I told him to stop once, he told me I enjoy it, he told me I needed this to survive. I listened. I told him I hated him. He told me it was a lie. He told me I loved him. I knew it was a lie but didn't say anything. I still let him push me around. All of my scars are because of him. He doesn't give me a break. Sometimes he'll tell me I'm ugly. I didn't use to believe him but, now I do. I believe every word he says. But truly deep down inside my friends tell me there's hope. I didn't believe them and I kept on listening to him. I left more scars on myself because of him. Then, after so much pain and suffering I made the worst decision of my life. I went to him. I met him in person. Now I'm stuck with him for all eternity and he makes me follow him around while he talks to all my old friends, enmities, and family members. He made two of my friends meet him. He made three of my enemies meet him. Now we all go around together trying to keep others from talking to him. They don't always listen. Thankfully some are stronger but, others aren't and they come to meet him. He is to blame for death. He is to blame for internal pain. Nobody likes him but, everybody fears him.
His name is depression

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