Ladies are in their pretty blue dresses while the gentlemen are in their white suits. Happy conversations can be heard and in a few minutes the priest shall start the ceremony. I looked around and saw that love is in the air.
"From this moment, life has begun. From this moment, you are the one. Right beside you is where I belong. From this moment on...."
I looked up as Shania Twain's song started and there stood at the door my one and only love, the lady of my life. She looks lovingly beautiful in her long white wedding dress. She struck me in awe, as always, and makes my heart beat faster than it usually do. I looked at her and I could see happiness in her eyes. She seems glowing with love as she marches down the aisle decorated with her favorite white roses.
I can't help but to smile as I remember how she always say that she want her wedding decorated with her favorite roses and the motif of the event is her favorite color blue.
Flashback of memories appear before me. Memories of how I met her, the only girl I loved. I didn't expect her sudden appearance in my life. I was a Cadet Assistant Medical Officer on Duty that time while she is a new trainee nurse in our station hospital. I was in charge of all the cadets confined in the hospital and the one responsible for their safety and discipline within the hospital premises.
She caught my attention the very first time I saw her. I was fascinated not only by her beauty but also by the way she cares about her patients. That time, the only thing that was on my mind is the thought of getting to know her more and to let her know of my existence.
I waited for her to finish her shift and as soon as I saw her descending the stairs, I handed a small piece of paper and a sign pen and said "Can I get your number Miss?". I know I'm too direct but I also want her to know that I'm serious with that matter. She laughed and then smiled and said "Find it yourself" with a grin on her face and left me behind with her challenge .
It took me 3 long days to find her number. She was uneasy at first but I was persistent. I was a soldier, trained not to surrender. And that time, getting her love is what I consider my life's greatest battle. It was then that we started being friends sharing endless text messages, hour long calls, and so on. Then there came the moment that we realized that love blossomed between us and each will play an important part in each other's lives.
Moments with her were pure bliss. I showered her all my love and she constantly reassures me that I made her happy and feel loved. Ah, my love for her is so great that I wish I could give her the world. But the only world I could give her is my world, centered in loving her for eternity.
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"I do", she answered the priest. Two words that signify a lifetime promise. Two words I long to hear from her. Now, at last I heard it.
But those promising words are not for me....It's for another man.
I can still clearly remember that night, two years ago. We were walking beside each other, holding each other's hands. Though we're not talking, the mere presence of each other is enough for us.
"Let's have a date tomorrow", I suddenly uttered as we arrived at her quarter's gate.
"Why the sudden plan?", she said.
"I just want to. You know, I missed you."
"I missed you too", she said then hugged me while smiling. I always like that sweet side of hers.
"But where?" she added.
"It's still a secret. Let's meet at the field and I'm going to show you something."
"Ah, is it a surprise again?"
"Yes."
"Then I'll look forward to it. You never fail when you give surprises", she said with excitement in her eyes. It gave me an overwhelming feeling to see her like that.
"All right, then we'll meet tomorrow at 9am then."
"Okay. Good night, mi amore", she said then gave me a passionate kiss that rendered me breathless every time.
I happily went back to my quarters and check on the final preparations for tomorrow's surprise. Tomorrow will be a great day. A day when I'll ask her to grow old with me and share a lifetime. I went to sleep with a smile and my last thought was of her, not knowing that tomorrow will be the end of my blissful days.
The next day, I suddenly just saw her crying endlessly over someone. And when I try to look at that someone, I was terrified of what I saw. It was me, lying still and lifeless. I tried to call her, my friends or anyone I could see.
But nothing happened.
No one heard me.
No one noticed me.
Nothing made any sense.
Then reality started to kick in. I'm dead. Death took me in my sleep. Death took my happiness. It's ironic that I'm a soldier, expected to die in a battle yet I died in a peaceful unexpected way.
Watching my own wake brought agony to me. It pained me to see my love ones cry because of me. Especially Gayle. She just stayed beside my body not talking to anybody, can't be approached and almost neglected her own self if not for her friends who constantly checked on her.
I promised to myself that I'll never make her cry a single tear but that moment, I hated myself because I'm exactly the reason why she's shedding tears. I wish I could ease her pain. I wish I could talk to her, embrace her and tell her that I love her. Even just for one last time.
I sat beside her and tried to talk to her in her sleep, hoping that it would work.
"It's too painful that this happened but remember that I love you so much. Thank you for your love but do not mourn for me for life. Find another man. A man who will love you and will bring you happiness as much as I do, or even more. Open your heart to someone else and do not just dwell on our memories. All I want is to see you happy and when you are, I'll be happy too. Move on Gayle. I'm setting you free, my love."
Though it hurts me a lot I also have to let her go. She deserves to be loved and cared.
Many days had passed and I could see her coping with the sadness. I'm glad that she's starting to move on and people help her to.
And now, two years had passed since my death, she found that someone she'll love again. I know that I should have left this world a long time ago. But I can't find my peace without seeing this moment.
Seeing her happy and so much in love like this and knowing that that man loves and cares for her so much, I can now leave this world. But I still long for the day that I will meet her once again face to face, not now but maybe in another dimension, another time, another place.
I can now see the light. I look at her for one last glimpse and the last thing I saw is her smile. #
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A/N: Sorry for the wrong grammar. I know there are lots of it.
