I was a very cute toddler; I’ve seen the photographs. My sister and I were both equally adorable, equally because we’re identical twins. “We’re” as in we were not we are. Were, past tense. All of my favourite memories were with my best friend, my sister. We were inseparable, we did everything together, went everywhere together. When I picked up my first surf board she was there with me riding the same wave. When she died, my whole world came crashing down. 11 years and I still remember that day like it was yesterday. It’s impossible to get out of my head. I go to sleep at night and all I can see is my sister underwater, gasping for air. What if we didn’t go to the beach that day? What if we didn’t go swimming? What if I didn’t insist we swim further out? What if? All these questions are constantly running through my head. What if?
After that day, our family was never the same. We’re now an odd numbered family. We were always an even number. Five is a weird number. It just doesn’t feel right. We never talk about that day. Anytime I’m with my family I get this gut feeling that they blame me. I blame me. It was my fault. I’m the reason why we’re an odd number. For about a year after that day, my parents couldn’t even look at me because anytime that did all they could see was Giovanna. All they can think about is what her life would have been like. Would she be a doctor, a lawyer, an astronaut? We moved from Sydney to Dublin a couple of months after the accident because my parents couldn’t bear to live there, a constant reminder of what happened.
10th of January 2001, the day that everything changed. It was a Wednesday morning and Gigi and I got up early to get ready. Our Aunt was bringing us to Maroubra for a day at the beach. We were only ever at Bondi which was a two minute walk from our house so going to a new beach was kind of special for us. We knew the rips and currents in Bondi like the back of our hands because we spent every day there but the waters of Maroubra were unchartered territory. That didn’t scare us though. We liked the challenge.
We paddled in the shallows for a bit while our Aunt read her book. After about twenty minutes we thought we might be a little more adventurous and go a little further out. Gigi took a step too far and stepped off the sandbank. The rip pulled her down into the water and she struggled to get back to the surface. I instinctively went to help her, not even thinking about the consequences. She was gasping for air and going under every time. I managed to grab hold of her hand but I was struggling to keep us afloat. Suddenly everything went quiet. I woke up on the beach surrounded by people. I looked around and saw a lifeguard trying to resuscitate Gigi and another one beside me. I went into shock. I had no idea what happened. Everyone was praying and holding me back from seeing her. The ambulance finally came but it was too late. My sister had gone. All I could do was sit there and hold my sister while the paramedic called our parents. In the space of 15 minutes I went from one of the happiest people in the world to one of the loneliest.
I spent the next day in hospital for observation. As I was lying in the bed, staring out the window I heard a knock on the door. A saw a man holding a teddy bear standing in the doorway. I looked closer and realised it was Koby Abberton, one of my favourite surfers of all time. He walked in, handed me the teddy and said he was sorry for my loss. I asked him why he had come to see me and he told me how he saw us going under so he paddled into the middle of the rip to save us. He was how we got back to the beach. The doctors told me that if I was under for a couple more seconds I wouldn’t be here. If Koby had gotten to us a couple of seconds later I wouldn’t be here. Koby Abberton saved my life, not many people can say that.
Some people in my situation would never touch water again but I strangely feel more peaceful in it. I feel closer to Giovanna when I’m in the water. I feel like she’s right beside me surfing the same wave. My family have never been back to Australia since we moved here. I try and go every year to visit Giovanna and usually travel on my own. It gives me time to think about what is important in life. After the accident, Koby and the rest of the boys became brothers to me. Anytime I’m in Australia they look after me and make sure I’m ok. I realise I’m lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people. I now have two families.
