If Only We Could Love

Even though we live together we are not lovers or family. I guess the term sex friends would best be used to describe us. We have no desire for each other besides the need to fulfill our sexual desires. Neither us harbor feelings of jealously or love beyond friendship. If asked we would say that we are just roommates until either of us decides to move. Since rent is so expensive nowadays its better to live with someone else than by yourself. We both share these thoughts and keep our word, though it does cause problems when dealing with lovers.

I believe that love between two men can only go as far as being sex buddies and can never reach an intimate level without the relationship breaking apart. The concept of love, in my mind, is just a temptation to get others to have sex and reproduce with one another. My roommates view, however is that of a cliche love you see in stories like Romeo and Juliet, which is his favorite play. He knows that not all his relationships last but other than that he still longs for that one person that will make him happy the rest of his life. Even with these different views we always seem to come back to each other for our needs.

My roommate, Tyler Cole, has been my friend since freshman year of high school when he caught me kissing our young English teacher, Ms. Berns. I found out he was in my class and went to talk to him about the whole matter but he just denied ever knowing it happened. At first I thought he understood me but soon realized I was wrong when later, after hanging out a lot, he told me,"The only reason I didn't say anything is because I thought I could ask a favor of you later if I just ignored it." Since then we had been hanging out and soon reached junior year of high school. I would still play around with girls and sometimes he would help me out by keeping watch. For someone who believed in such pure love I was confused why he didn't get angry at me doing this. 

It was the middle of junior year when Tyler finally cashed in the favor I owed him. It was just after a breakup with a boyfriend he had been dating since the beginning of that year. After asking to cash in his favor the only words he said were,"Help the pain go away" and I understood what he wanted instantly. That was the first time I had sex with another man. After that, he had come to me often for the same reason and I wouldn't protest. Once having sex with him, I realized how good it felt two have sex with another man and slowly started to lean towards having sex with men when given the option, all the while Tyler still searched for love.

We continued this cycle and decided to move in with each other after high school since I wasn't going to college. Renting a small two bedroom apartment close to his university, we started to settle down into another routine. Tyler got a job at some big company while I took in odd jobs and worked part-time which I would soon after be fired from.

Tyler's love life didn't get any better but his relationships with other men surely got longer with every man he dated. I still stuck to sleeping around with whoever was willing which was usually people suffering. I got to hear stories of their life which were usually a lot similar to what Tyler talked of wanting to have. That sweet and pure fairy tail love only seen in stories. Sometimes I would get into fights and arguments with their soon-to-be-lovers or ex-lovers and I cant count the number of times I have been interrupted having sex. So, even though I'm doing this to fulfill my sexual desires, most of the time they are left unfulfilled.

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-Apartment 204-
8:13pm

My hours and his are different so we only cross paths around 8pm when he comes back after work and I am getting ready to leave for work. There are some rare times we see each other at some other time or even outside our apartment. These are mainly due to altered schedules and even then we really don't talk to each other, not even to say hi. So in that short period of time at 8pm is when we have sex, talk to each other, and relieve stress cause thats all we're really using each other for.