Claimed│✓

BONUS CHAPTER: GIDEON THE ROMANTIC

[Gideon]

To my utter annoyance, our population of cattle had increased. I swore under my breath at my incompetence. Maya would simply smile amused at my many failures, seeming proud that I didn't chide myself over my lack of control.

Sometimes I liked to blame her for it. Every time she was in the room I felt like grabbing for her. I couldn't keep my hands to myself, not that I wanted to. She never protested, lying comfortably in my arms. At times, I had to reluctantly let her go once we'd overstayed our welcome in bed. Whenever we showed up late for any meetings, Eric wouldn't comment but the bastard sure liked to tease me about it later. I wasn't known to be anything less than punctual, especially when I was alone. I always believed that if I could complete my tasks in the quickest time possible I could return to my cabin and sulk all day as I pleased. It seemed impossible and a distant desire in my mind with Maya's company. It was a revelation that she'd gotten me to change that much. My mother with all her persistence hadn't gotten me to change. It was Maya with her at times timid and astounding sense of selflessness.

I couldn't not want to have her next to me, leaning on me. Like a babe, refusing to let go... a babe.

I grit my teeth wondering if I was capable of such a thing, capable of creating something as sacred as life. Maya could have all the confidence in the world but it wouldn't help me believe in myself, believe that with our affliction we couldn't pass it onto a child, our child.

What was the point of having one anyway? Growing up around a kid like Brian. I was weary of letting any children around him because of how weird he could get and annoying but it was already absurd that I kept a farm. What was I but a father, caretaker to all these animals? Why couldn't I do the same with my own kind?

But I knew it was different. The animals couldn't refuse my care but a child could. They could see what a horror I could be. Wouldn't they run from me in fear for their lives? Could they... could they love me? Eric and Brian would piss themselves laughing if they ever got wind of this.

Maya loved me but she was different. Somehow, she was different but not by much. It would take both of us to make this baby. I just had to convince myself they'd adopt her personality and not cower away from me. Maybe like their mother they could demand more from me when no one else would. Love me just for the heck of it without any conditions.

Whenever Maya held Oliver there was a sense of wonder in her eyes that I always caught when I watched her. I was always watching somewhat like a creep but at least I had the right to. Even if I didn't, I wouldn't give a damn. She'd have to gorge my eyes out before I turned away from her. She'd look at me with those same wondrous eyes, looking between Oliver and myself. Her thoughts clear and explicit. I wasn't shy, as much I'd been previously about forming a physical connection. I quite enjoyed the journey myself, Maya included, but it was the destination that unnerved—scared the shit out of me.

I would be an idiot to not have noticed the changes that had occurred in Eric and Olivia. He still had that annoying tongue I'd once dreamt of ripping out on occasion but a peace to him. She had softened. She no longer viewed our association as an unfortunate incident of her mating Eric. Her excuse for liking me wasn't because I was her Beta and it was my duty to never harm her but that she could see that I would never have any intentions of harming her. They bickered far less than they had before and their decisions seemed more compatible, not that Olivia didn't enjoy undermining Eric from time to time for good reason as he was known to gloat and glaringly display how proud of himself he was.

I had the innate sense that Maya and I would change too if we decided to have kids. I was reluctant to consciously acknowledge that our relationship still had some shortcomings. We still had a difficult time communicating to each other how we felt but it was exhilarating getting to stumble around in the dark from time to time. Maybe she'd even be more willing to let me help her with her urges... we could always find much more appealing,satisfying alternatives to wanting to dismember something of the living, limb from limb. She had still retained her softer,endearing qualities but there was a fierceness that had bloomed within her. A raging fire I was delighted to have the privilege to stoke and tend to.