Im That Friend

I'm the friend that has to walk in the back if the path is too small. I'm that friends that is always asked, "you should have come! Why weren't you there? You would have had a great time." Trust me I would have. I'm the friend that never gets invited to anything. I'm the friend that never understands the inside joke that everyone else gets. I'm the friend that nobody sticks up for. I'm the friend that has to be the one to make the plans to make sure I'm there too. I'm the friend that gets cut off when I'm telling a story. I'm the friend that helps everyone else with their problems but no one is there for me. I'm the friend that gets left behind at the back of the hall. I'm the friend that nobody wants to partners with. I'm the friend that holds the biggest smile, but really, I don't ever feel like that smile meant anything. I'm the friend that constantly gets picked on. I'm the friend that looks at the others profile to see the others with them. I'm the friend that only gets her family members to come to my birthday parties. I'm the friend that begs you to come over so I'm not alone tonight. I'm that friend to look at the other only for them to look at someone else. I'm that friend who thinks a book has more happy emotions then the ones in real life. I'm that friend that gets asked for things but never returned. I'm that friend who thinks about selfharm just so I can do something. I'm that friend that constantly thinks, "what would they do if I were to die tomorrow? Would they notice? Would they care?" I'm that friend that will always think, "will my friends approve of this?" I'm that friend that fights with every tooth and nail only for them to be pulled out. I'm the friend that gets picked on for what I like. I'm the friend that thinks of herself as, "you're not as pretty as them. You are way to big to fit in their clothes. They will be able to wear each others clothes while I wearing extra large clothes." I'm the friend that does the hard parts in homework without hesitation, but when I need help I get sighed at with rolling eyes. I'm the friend that has to work alone, so I don't feel awkward when a conversation starts without me.