Broken Repair (Larry Stylinson)

Morning Rendezvous

Drifting awake, my eyes flutter open to semi darkness in my room. I'm comfortably warm, something draped around me, cocooning me. I snuggle into the sheets.

I'm naked.

Eyes snapping open, I take in the position I'm in. Of course I'm upside down on the bed. This was how it ended. Me and Harry. He hasn't left me. I feel small breaths on the middle of my neck, and his hand draped around my middle securing me close to him.

This shouldn't feel so comfortable. My heart aches, trying not to remember how it was with me and Jack. A part of me longed for that back, but I knew me and Jack could never be together again.

He was horrible to me. Belittled me for every thing I did. I couldn't be my own person around him. I couldn't wear what I wanted, listen to my music. I couldn't even spend time with Michael.

Any time we spent intimately had been for his own gain. He only tried to kiss me if he wanted to go the whole way.

How did me and Harry get like this? I swore he was straight. Before we had sex this time, I'm sure it was a confession. Either he way gay, or he liked me. But hey, I don't like to give out labels.

Harry sighs lightly behind me, groaning as he pulls me in closer. He sure likes to cuddle.

"Oh," He says, and a thrill goes through me at the deepness of his voice after sleeping. "Hello."

He sounds a little amused, so I don't panic thinking he's going to run.

"Hi." I reply. My response is quiet.

"I'm sorry. I usually cuddle my pillow." He sounds embarrassed at our position. He moves away, laying on his back. I instantly feel cold, and I curse internally. I half want him to come back, but half of me knows I shouldn't want that.

"It's okay." I say. Rolling onto my back, I wince at the sensation of dried ejaculation on my stomach. "Gross."

"What?"

"There's come everywhere." I say, feeling a little uncomfortable under Harry's gaze. I'm still completely naked, head to toe.

"There sure is." He states, with a chuckle. He rolls onto his side to look down at me. He smiles playfully, his dimples highlighting his face and his hair down the side of his neck. "I want to ask you something."

"Okay." I look back up. He is somehow really intimidating like this.

"I know this isn't a relationship," He starts. "I know you're not ready for that, and I don't want one."

He looks down at my stomach, at my hands, and then back up to my face.

"But I can't keep away from you anymore." He admits, eyes smouldering.

His confession takes my breath away. Stay away from me anymore? He's been trying to stay away? Was him calling me names and belittling me trying to keep away?

"Were you horrible to me because you were scared?" I ask, rolling over a little. He looks up at my face.

"I-Yeah," He admits, solemnly. "And I'm really sorry for making you feel like that."

I look up at him, and he genuinely looks upset at himself. I couldn't stay angry at him.

"I should be angry, you know." I say, a little upset.

"I know." He swallows.

"What did you want to ask?" I push him.

"I can't stop wanting you," He admits, running his finger tips down my side. My breath gets caught in my throat at the insinuation.

"I don't understand," I say. What is this? "I thought you were straight."

"I don't know what I am." He whispers. "I'm trying to figure out."

"And how do I come into this?" I press. I know what he wants from me, I'm not stupid. Do I want that, is the silly question. Of course I want it. I want him.

"We've been taking our anger out on each other a lot lately." He says. "We should do what we've been doing."

He won't say it. He won't say sex. Push him, Louis.

"You want us to fuck. Like friends with benefits." I imply for him. He splutters, choking on nothing. I internally roll my eyes.

"I-I guess that's what I'm saying." He says, bashfully.

I don't know what to say. I do enjoy having sex with Harry, even if I didn't know why he was doing it. He took me places I had never been. On the other hand, I really need to think about it. Mull this over.

"I need to think about it," I say, looking up at him. He looks like he was expecting this response, nodding a little. "Sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" He asks, confused.

"This is new for you, and I'm not giving you a straight answer." I say.

"Ha. Straight." He chuckles. This time I roll my eyes for real.

"Hilarious." I deadpan, as I roll off the bed, and stand up.

"Where are you going?" Harry quips. Smirking, I look back.

"Some of us have jizz all over their stomachs. I would like to shower." I laugh. He looks up at me, unabashedly checking me out.

"Okay, I'll leave you to it." He says before standing up next to me. Towering above me, I can't help but check him out in the corner of my eye. He's so fit. His warmth makes me want to shiver but I will it away. He saunters away, completely naked and leaves my room.

Jesus. Harry Styles wants me to casually have sex with him when either of us want it. Harry Styles. A man until recently I thought was straight. A wave of arousal flows through me at the remembrance that he definitely isn't.

I guess I could do this. I'd just let him know the rules. No one can fall in love. That it isn't a relationship. He can't stop me from being who I am.  

Harry can't do that, Louis. Harry isn't Jack. I guess I'm still not over how bad the relationship was. Really, looking back, I should have realised how awful it was. But I was stupidly in love with someone who didn't love me.

I push into my small shower. I'll let Harry know in a couple of days. I can't seem too eager.