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Trouble

We were quiet for the first five minutes in the truck until I finally decided to speak.

"Who's Gavin?" I spoke softly.

Asher looked forward, only one hand on the steering wheel. "He's..." He trailed off,

shaking his head. "Don't worry about it."

"You can't tell me­"

"Not to worry about it?" He glanced at me, his face stern. "Actually I can. Gavin and

anything related to him is the least of your concerns or worries. You just lost your parents. You

have to deal with the funeral and Artie and Cammryn doing shit like this. You have to focus on

becoming okay at some point, and you can't do that when you're worrying about stupid shit like

this."

I stayed quiet, looking at the broken tuning knob on the radio, remembering the night that

happened.

Asher and I had gotten back from seeing Milkwide Productions in concert and were in a

really good mood, so when we got in the car, we could not stop kissing. We were laughing in

between and couldn't control ourselves. He told me I was too far away and grabbed my hips to

pull me closer to him, and while doing so I managed to break the tuning knob off, rearrange the

rearview mirror, and honk the horn three times, which caused another outburst of laughter.

I smiled to myself and reached out to touch the empty spot.

Asher looked at me, raising his eyebrow questionably. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I said, taking my hand back. "Just nostalgia."

"The night that happened?" He asked. I nodded, smiling again. "One of my favorite

nights, that's for sure."
"Mine too." I gazed out the window, watching all of the street lights buzz by. I started to

feel a sting in my nose, and a lump in my throat.

Imogen Ruth. I scolded myself. Do not cry. Do not fucking cry, you're not a baby. But I

didn't listen to myself. The tears began to fall down, one by one. I made the mistake of sniffling.

"Imogen?" Asher said, pulling over. "Imogen, are you crying?" He put his hand on my

shoulder.

"No," I muttered, feeling the thick saliva at the back of my throat. "I have allergies."

"You only have allergies in April and November." He said, pulling on my shoulder

softly. "Imogen, look at me."

I turned and the tears just kept coming. They wouldn't stop. "I miss them so much." I

said, breaking. The tears started to feel more thick, and came more fast. I couldn't keep up.

Asher engulfed me in a tight hug, his arms wrapping around me, his hands resting on my ribcage.

The way he always does when I'm upset. I couldn't help but hug back, slinging my arms around

his neck, pulling him close, collapsing into him. "I miss them so fucking much. I can't take it."

"I know, Imogen. It hurts, I know." Asher said quietly, rubbing my sides, trying to calm

me down. "But you have to try to push through this. It's going to fucking suck but Artie needs

you. Cammryn needs someone to annoy. And... I need you to be here. You have to try."

Eventually the crying slowed, and I relaxed into Asher, my breathing heavy and uneven.

He kept rubbing my sides until I could breathe fine. He pulled away then took his thumb and

wiped underneath my eyes. "Do you want me to take you home?"

I immediately shook my head and wiped at my face. "It's too hard."

"Where do you want to go?" Asher said, putting the car in drive.
"I don't know. I just don't want to be there."

"Cammryn's?"

I shook my head no and was hoping he would offer his place. I wanted to be around him

and him only, I wanted to talk to him, and for him to be there, because he's the only thing I can

count on anymore.

"My place?" He said, hesitantly.

I almost smiled, but instead I nodded, wanting to cry happy tears for once.