The Missing Jonas Brother❤

//Sad Boy//

Yesterday night I lost my best friend..she committed suicide. I feel confused and lost with out her..she was always there for me. I need her. More then I need most people. I become friends with people just to watch them leave and I cry about it..but I know it is going to happen. I know it is. I have lost 6 important people in my life and losing anymore my cause me to do the same. KateLynn and I have been friends since we were 2. We may fight but we are still best friends. She helped me when I lost my dad at 5. When I lost my grandma at 11. When I lost my cousin at 14. When I lost my brother at 18. And when I lost my other friend just this year. But who is going to help me when I lost my support system? I lost my mind when I lost my brother. Problems. Big problems happened. I basically was trying to kill myself without tying a rope around my neck. It was a bad time. I comforted her when she lost her mom at 13. She had started doing drugs and abusing the privileged of being a teen. But I helped her through it. When she was feeling so down on her self about what kind of relationship she was in. I had her back and was willing to go to jail for her. But when did all this just stop. To the point when she thought I didn't love her anymore or my love wasn't enough to keep her going..last night at 10:30pm. She had called me. 4 times actually needing me to tell her to stop. Rushing over to her house and holding my sad, depressed best friend in my arms. I never answered those phone calls. I was out. With someone else. Rejecting all her calls because I was with someone else. I just want to rewind time to save her. To take that razor and rope from her hands, to take her to my house were we could watch our all time favorite movie of monster's inc., I wish I could take back any bad thing I said to you. Things that made you feel as if I didn't love you. Or that no one loved you. I wish I could talk to your dad about how much you had gotten better and not how you had gotten worse. Not to let him come home to his daughter. Dead, off the balcony of your home. I just wish you were here to comfort me through your passing. I wish someone would comfort me just how you do. I will miss you so much best friend. I will miss our funny Snapchat pictures. And the unexpected pictures. Your smile that could light up a room. and your laugh that could make a general smile. Your hugs that always felt like home. And your voice that always made me smile. And your cooking on how to make a strawberry cake from chocolate cake mix. And the memory from 6th grade when you told me about your "boyfriend" at the time had hit you and I walked over to him and hit him back. Everytime you needed me..I was there...but the one time you really needed me...I was no where to be found. I had neglected you the day you needed me most. The day you decided life wasn't worth living anymore..I will miss you. Forever and always.

KateLynn Pennie Christenson
From May 27, 1998 to April 23, 2016
At 10:34pm