Until We Meet Again, My Angel

Chapter 16: There Will Be Blood

    The werewolf, whoever she was, had been waiting; Castiel realized this all too soon. In a split second, Sam and Dean were back on their feet, pistols out. Dean stared the wolf down- She'd actually be kinda pretty, Dean thought, if she wasn't trying to kill us! It was true- the werewolf, despite her animalistic state, was easy on the eyes; she had long brown hair, blue eyes, and tanned skin. She was easily as tall as Dean, but was filled out in an hourglass shape.
   The she-wolf growled, baring a mouth full of canines. Her claws were out as she turned on Sam, catching him by surprise. He fired a shot as she tackled him, but the werewolf was too fast for Sam. Dean raised his gun, but was unable to take the shot as his brother wrestled with the wolf, for fear of shooting Sam. Sam roared and threw his fist against the jaw of his canine assailant, sending her sprawling to the floor. Dean jumped at the opportunity, firing a silver bullet into the she-wolf's shoulder. The werewolf jerked backwards, howling in pain.
   Her eyes full of fury, the lycanthrope growled and lunged for Dean, claws bared. Dean would have been puppy chow if it weren't for Castiel. The Angel roared, "NO!" and shoved his lover out of the way, sending him flying against the wall. The wolf switched her targets, going after Cas. She tackled him to the ground, but paused to stared at Dean's savior; she seemed confused. However, her expression changed to one of loathing as she growled, "Angel." Shocked, Cas asked, "You know about Angels?" Her voice dripped with malice as she replied, "I met one, once- he killed my Alpha." Fueled with fresh hate, the lupine woman pushed Castiel until his back was against the wall and began attacking him, one punch after another finding it's mark. She smiled with a sick satisfaction as she heard the Angel's nose break.
   And yet, Castiel began to laugh; it was a harsh sound, pained and forced, and the Winchesters could hear the blood bubble in the back of Cas' throat as he chuckled.
"What the Hell?" Spat the werewolf. "Why are you laughing?"
"You can't kill me." The Angel laughed.
   A car drove by the house, briefly illuminating the room, and something glinted from inside the pocket of Cas' trench coat. The Angel ceased his laughter as the werewolf's eyes searched for the source of the reflection. A wicked grin split the she-wolf's face as her hand found the silver blade Gabriel had given to Cas and pulled it out to examine it. "Is this an Angel blade in your pocket," she grabbed him by the hair, forcing him to meet her eyes as she laughed. "Or are you just happy to see me?" Castiel spat blood in the woman's face and commanded, "Do it." The werewolf's eyes widened in surprise, but Castiel let out a guttural laugh and went on. "Do it- What are you waiting for? Look me in the eyes, and DO IT YOU COWARD!"
   Cas was jolted by a loud bang, followed by the she-wolf slumping over, dropping the dagger, and falling onto him. The Angel pushed the lifeless attacker off of him and looked up. Dean was standing there, gun in hand, face flooded with anger. Behind him, Sam was staring at Castiel in shock.

   Back at the motel, Dean had started pacing as soon as he'd closed the door. Sam and Dean always paced when they were furious; it was something you could only notice if you'd known the Winchesters as well as Cas did. Cas had contented himself with sitting noiselessly on the edge of the bed. Saying something- anything- while Dean was in this state would hurl him into a rage-fueled outburst; a trait he and Sam shared. Sam was sitting at a small table on the opposite wall, clearly mentally preparing himself for his brother's inevitable explosion.
   Dean had been taught to obey rules- Hunters' rules- the rules necessary for survival, no more and no less. But he threw away all other rules, sometimes even his own. Dean was a naturally subversive person, it was one of the many things Cas adored about him, but it often made him stubborn and reckless, which left no room for recklessness from Sam and Castiel.
Castiel?
   Cas' attention was pulled towards Sam, who (Cas realized) was praying to him. Cas mouthed in response, "Yes?"
   What should we do? Any single word will set him off, but he won't wear himself pacing. We've got to say something. Let's just get this over with...
   Sam's jaw set determinedly, but it was Cas who broke the silence, "Dean, I-"
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Dean didn't bother letting his voice rise, he was yelling right off the bat.
"I-" Cas began.
"No!" Dean refused to let him speak. He pointed at Cas, angrily saying, "You were reckless and careless! You heard her coming, Castiel!"
   Cas winced; Dean almost never used his full name. He must be beyond furious.
"You could have poofed out- you could have gone somewhere safe! But instead you stayed and risked your life!"
"You and Sam risk your lives all the time!" Cas defended.
"Because we have to, Castiel! Because we were raised to!" Dean countered.
"Dean, I've watched you your whole life, I know the drill."
"You don't know ANYTHING!" Dean yelled.
   Cas blinked, the words stung like acid in his veins, but Dean went on, "You have no common sense! You knocked a guy out in plain daylight-"
"To save YOU!" Now the Angel was shouting, but the Hunter went on as if his savior hadn't spoken.
"You let yourself get hurt! You let people in, Cas, and it destroys you!"
"And I don't regret it! Because I deserve to be destroyed!" Castiel blurted.
   Dean looked more confused than surprised as he demanded, "Why the Hell would you say that?"
"Because the second I let myself believe I deserved anything, THEY TOOK EVERYTHING!"
   Castiel's voice shook the walls, leaving nothing but silence in it's wake. Dean stared at his boyfriend, utterly stunned. Castiel lowered his voice, but it dripped with self-loathing as he admitted, "I deserve to die Dean. Claire died, because of me. I am now responsible for the death of five Angels," his words began coming faster, "it's my fault the Angels are rebelling, that you and Sam are now at the top of the list of Heaven's Most Wanted, and it's my fault that my father, GOD, has left Heaven and gone into hiding!"
"Are you really that stupid?" Dean asked angrily. Staring at Cas' confused face, Dean insisted, "It's not your fault, Cas. It's mine."
"What?" Sam and Castiel spoke at the same time.
"It's my fault," the eldest Winchester confessed, "All of it. I was the one who sold my soul, I was the one who chased the vamp lead and landed us in Claire's town, and I'm the one who killed Mallius. If it wasn't for me, God would still be in Heaven, Castiel wouldn't be on the run, and Claire would be alive!"
"Then it's my fault for pulling you out." Cas protested.
"Then it's my fault for getting sent there in the first place!" Dean countered.
"You did it for Sam!" Cas defended his lover.
"And I'd do it again, and that's why it's my fault." Dean argued.
"Well maybe you shouldn't have DONE it!"
"Cas!" Sam yelled, offended.
"Well maybe you shouldn't have SAVED ME!" Dean hollered.
"DEAN!" Sam shouted, shocked.
"MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE!" Cas bursted.
   Dead silence. Dean's eyes filled with tears, his rage left him- washed away by heartbreak. He gaped at Castiel, saying nothing for what, to them, seemed like forever. The Angel was still fuming, his eyes narrowed, stance challenging; but Dean was no longer a challenger. The Hunter's eyes had gone wide, his left foot behind him in a retreat, and his arms were slack, hanging at his sides. He looked hollow, as if he was empty. Void.
   Finally, Dean took a long, shaking breath, dropped his eyes to the floor, and softly said, "If that's how you feel, fine." With that, Dean turned on his heel and strode out the door, slamming it behind him.
   Staring after his brother, Sam heard a loud thud to his left and turned his head to see Castiel has put a hole in the wall with his fist.