A Cinderella Story.... I Think?

Once upon time there was a blah blah blah. moving on we have all heard this before. lets get to the point. This little hopeless young lady, Cinderella was stuck cleaning for her whole life. Cinderella could sing she could dance and do not forget she can clean like no ones business. "CINDERELLA," yelled her step mother. "Yes mother," Cinderella replied. What Cinderella really wanted to say was, "What do want you fat ass wench? Put on a robe honey because that night gown is not flattering!" Of course in fairy tales no one has any guts to stand up for themselves so they keep their mouth shut. "Cinderella your step sisters need to get ready for the ball which is a big deal because the prince is going to be attending. So i need you to scrub their feet and pluck their armpits and wax their... "areas". and finally i need you to shave and wax my whole body," said Cinderella's mother. Cinderella's mother, Diana, was more wicked then the wicked which of the west, but that's a different story. Diana is a large fat women. She has hair in her armpit, her legs, her face, 

and "other places". She really is an ugly fat women. 

Meanwhile in the kingdom, "i want to find someone who will worship my good looks, my rock hard abs, and my huge biceps. I want to have someone that will serve me, pleasure me, and do whatever i ask," the snobby conceited prince Adam bantered. As the prince continued the poor servant cleaned and acted like he cared. The prince started to get ready. He was the prince, rich and good looking so he didn't care what he wore. He didn't wear a tuxedo for the ball. He wore a red cut off shirt and white cargo shorts. Prince Adam was a good looking guy. Girls would drool over his HUGE biceps and his rock hard abs. Girls want him and guys want to be him. The only person who doesn't give a care is his servant Dominic. Dominic isn't as buff as Adam. But Dominic isn't conceited or snobby, he is kind hearted and sweet. But many girls over look that. 

Cinderella was told she had to clean and clean and clean some more. Cinderella was scrubbing the floor while wishing she could go to the ball, mainly because she could see the reeking, rotten, and unknown colored tuna that was dropped on the floor and never picked up. "Why wont my mother let me go to the ball. I bet its because im better looking then her. She doesn't want me to steal her men, as if she had a chance anyway," wondered Cinderella. A sparkling light started to appear. "Ok lets get this over with. Hello im your fairy god mother blah blah blah and im here to make your wishes come true," said the lazy and negative god mother. "Im here to make you a dress and get you a ride." continued the god mother. "Why cant i just pick a dress out of my closest," asked Cinderella. "Because your clothes is UGLY girl" explained the god mother. "Shut up lady you ain't a prize either," yelled Cinderella. "Do u want help or not," asked the god mother. The god mother started to wave her wand around. "Don't you have to sing bibidy bobidy boo," asked Cinderella. "No honey I have a cold, im pretty congested," explained the god mother. The god mother waved her wand some more and made Cinderella a slim tight baby blue dress and shampooed, conditioned, and combed Cinderella's raggedy blonde hair. The god mother could not find a pumpkin so she just turned the tuna into a carriage that still had the faint smell of rotten fish. She turned the flies flying around the tuna into giant flies that would carry Cinderella off to the ball. The one last detail was the glass shoes. Cinderella refused to wear glass because she argued that they were a safety hazard. So the god mother gave her clear plastic shoes. "And honey be back by 12 because the spell will start to ware off," said the god mother warning Cinderella.

Cinderella made it to the ball. Right when the prince saw Cinderella he was amazed. Every other girl was wearing poofy dresses but Prince Adam was attracted to Cinderella's slim and sexy blue dress. He approached her and asked her to dance. Cinderella wasn't very interested but she kept dancing. "Do u like my muscles," asked Adam. Cinderella just nodded and smiled but she was really thinking, "Are you serious right now? Why is he dressed like that and he seems to be so full of it!" while Cinderella was dancing, she lost track of time and didn't realize what time it was. DING! DONG! the clock rang. Cinderella looked and saw that the clock was striking twelve. She started to run away thinking that her dress would disappear leaving her running around naked. The spell was already starting to ware off but right when she got out the door Dominic saw her in her raggedy clothes and of course one of her plastic shoes fell off and the prince found it. I mean who would forget the whole dropping the slipper thing.

Cinderella ran to her fish carriage but when she sat down the carriage turned back into rotten floor tuna and Cinderella ended up sitting in it. she thought about riding one of the flies, but that would be disgusting. So she ran. She beat her sisters and her mother by perhaps two minutes.  

The next day Prince Adam and his favorite servant, Dominic went searching for the hottie from the ball. They asked every women in the kingdom to try on the plastic shoe. Adam and Dominic had reached the last house and had asked both step sisters to try on the shoe. Both of the sisters had gigantic feet that could not fit in the shoe. He didn't even have to ask Diana to try it on. He was pretty sure his hottie wasn't as fat as Diana. Adam took one look at Cinderella and rejected her. He thought that there was no way that this "maid" was the hottie from the ball. Adam saw a girl with raggedy hair wearing an excuse for clothes. Adam crushed the shoe and gave it to Dominic to throw away. When Adam went out first, Dominic turned to Cinderella and told her that he saw her at the ball in her raggedy clothes. He told her that he knew who she was. Cinderella was shocked she didn't know what to say. Dominic introduced himself and told her he would write to her. "DOMINIC!!!!" screamed Adam. 

Years have gone by and Cinderella and Dominic have been sending pigeons to deliver their messages, they started calling it "Tweeting". Things were going great until Diana and Adam found out. Adam was infuriated with the fact Dominic was giving more attention to this unknown person than him and Diana just hates seeing Cinderella happy. Cinderella and Dominic didn't plan on stopping their relationship together. They planned an escape from their terrible lives. Cinderella waited for everyone to fall asleep that night. Cinderella had Dominic send her some money so that she could hire a witch to poison her sisters, turn Diana into a fat ugly frog, which honestly is an upgrade from her last "look", and lastly make Prince Adam a fat giant man with no abs and no muscles, so that when Cinderella and Dominic left in the morning no one could stop them. Cinderella and Dominic were hard workers, so they built a log house deep in the woods away from everyone, except for their neighbors, Snow White and her seven dwarfs. Cinderella and Dominic started their lives together. As the years went by, Dominic was developing feelings for Cinderella but Cinderella didn't feel the same. Dominic was friend zoned. I bet you thought they would fall in love and all that lovey dovey stuff. Unfortunately for Dominic they were living happily ever after.... as best friends. 

THE END